美

I keep finding people who are unhappy with the way they are. I don't look down on them, though-- It is, sometimes, difficult to perceive yourself as someone who is successful, intelligent, confident, or attractive. Everyone feels that way, and it sucks. A lot. It sucks chasing carrots, trying to live up to society's expectations of success. It sucks pouring over books for the sole purpose of not looking stupid. It sucks mustering up the courage to talk to that cute girl or guy in your English class. It sucks looking in the mirror and telling yourself "I am not pretty enough" or "My muscles aren't big enough".

I personally believe (as corny as it sounds) that every person has their own beauty. In the 道德经 (Dào​dé​jīng​), the main Daoist scripture, LaoZi (also called Lao Tzu, written 老子) says that we only know what beauty is because we know what ugliness is. His point is that the entire concept of  beauty only exists because we compare one thing to another, and we rank one thing 'more beautiful' than another. This was strongly rooted in one of the main concepts of Daoism: duality. Male and female, white and black, hot and cold, strength and weakness, evil and good. However, another main concept of duality is that existence does not actually come of duality, but rather that two opposites come together to form reality. We only know what beauty or ugliness is because we only see the two opposites, and instead of seeing these things together (and thus removing the concept of both) we compare them, we rank them.

Life should not work that way. Life should NOT revolve around putting yourself next to another person and evaluating. That does nothing but divide.

I've talked to countless girls who have put their health in grave danger because they thought they weren't skinny enough. They freak out about 2 random pounds here or there and think that their peers will talk smack about them. I see many very, very intelligent girls compare themselves to others and cut out entire meals or even DAYS of eating just to drop that last few. It breaks me.

So... you're here, reading this silly blog post that only about 5 or so other people will actually read. (Thank you very much for your support.) Think for a second. What were you insecure about today? Be honest with yourself. I'll go right ahead and tell you one of mine. This morning, I looked in the mirror and thought "I wish I could look good with straight or short hair. I wish my nose wasn't so big. I wish I had a bit clearer skin. I wish my muscles were bigger."
Think about an instance today that you felt like you fell short when compared to another.

Now realize that you don't have to think that way. You don't need to compare, and you don't need to tell yourself you aren't good enough. There is someone in this world (besides your mother) who thinks you are one of the greatest things to ever grace their lives. I can promise you that.

It's not easy to rid yourself of those thoughts. At times, yes, you will fail and this world will get to you and hurt you. However, you don't need to put your physical well being in danger just to prove to someone else that you are beautiful enough. Stop comparing yourself to others. Remove duality and embrace reality.

Society throws hundreds of messages at you, every day, that show you tons of beautiful people and tell you they can show you how to be beautiful. I'm throwing you just one message to tell you that you already are.