This Post is about Whatever I Want!

I'm suffering from a minor case of writer's block, so this post is pretty poorly organized and more a cathartic outlet of thoughts. I'm publishing it because why the fuck not?

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I have one fatal flaw: I'm really nice. What I mean is that I oftentimes worry about my friends to the point of being unable to worry about myself. My worst habit is observing other people's problems and making them my problems. This forces me to try and fix said problems, even if there is quite literally nothing that I can do. What ends up happening, then, is that I begin to feel really down because I feel like I didn't do all I could for that person. You can see how this can be an issue.

I've been quite worried about a few of my friends lately. Drugs, depression, unemployment, and general stress have been getting to them, at a dangerous level. I do what I can to try and support them, but I'm beginning to realize more and more every day that no one can help someone who won't help themselves. The other side of that coin is that I shouldn't try and help someone if they don't want my help, which is another thing I find hard to do.

Buddhism teaches that one person is unable to help another person unless they do not share suffering with that person. The Sanksrit/Pali word for "compassion", Karuṇā, literally means "to suffer with someone", so if we are already suffering ourselves from a specific issue, how can we hope to help another person and alleviate their suffering?

Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed. --The Buddha

 So, what I have done in detaching myself from some people is difficult for me to do. In fact, I'm still trying to convince to myself that what I am doing is the right thing. All I can do is all I can do, though, and beyond that, they have to want to be helped.

I've written two different pieces that tackle that subject, one of which was posted earlier in "Ecstasy is Torment". Four days ago, I performed that piece in public for the first time and was met with a very unexpected response.

A girl who seemed younger than me by about a year or two came up to me after we had packed up and were beginning to leave. She caught my arm and asked if she could talk to me. She looked me in the eye and told me

"That piece about drugs you wrote came at exactly the right time for me. I have a few friends who are dealing with drugs right now and I've been really confused as to how to deal with them."

 I thanked her for her kind words and told her to stay strong, for her friends, but also for herself. To support her friend in the most positive way possible is the number one thing she can do. Walking away that day I realized that I had not been taking my own advice. I had been so caught up in how I felt I needed to help people that I did not realize I was suffering too much to be able to do so. Even as I type this, I smile knowing that my words had a positive impact on someone, and that in turn had a positive impact on me.

People always ask me why I write, and I always give them a different answer. Sometimes I say that I write so that I have a positive impact on people and to help people. Sometimes I say I write so that I can vent out some of my more negative emotions. Sometimes it's so that I can get people to think, to question. Sometimes, it's just for the wordplay, just for the rhyme scheme, just because I like having something to share. But a lot of the time, it's just for the hell of it.

I'm writing a Nuzlocke novella, as you might know, and I plan on doing 4 more (probably shorter than the current one, though), one for each "generation" of Pokemon. I'm re-writing a piece I lost in the hard drive crash called "I Stand". I'm writing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign in which the most valuable and powerful substance is chocolate.

That wouldn't be too different than real life, now that I think about it.

Now, being true to this post's title, I will offer you something only tangentially relevant.

 

Just to offer a little bit of insight as to the kind of funny, quirky, entertaining improvising Random Receipts does.

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Peace and Love, thank you for reading!