The Egg

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. the EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered that you were better off, trust me.

And that's when you met me.

"What... What happened?" You asked. "Where am I?"

"You died," I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

"There was a... truck and it was skidding..."

"Yup," I said.

"I... I died?"

"Yup. But don't feel bad about it. Everyone dies," I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. "What is this place?" You asked. "Is this the afterlife?"

"More or less," I said.

"Are you god?" You asked.

"Yup," I replied. "I'm God."

"My kids... my wife," you said.

"What about them?"

"Will they be all right?"

"That's what I like to see," I said. "You just died and your main concern is for your family. That's good stuff right there."

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn't look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

"Don't worry," I said. "They'll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn't have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it's any consolation, she'll feel very guilty for feeling relieved."

"Oh," you said. "So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?"

"Neither," I said. "You'll be reincarnated."

"Ah," you said. "So the Hindus were right."

"All religions are right in their own way," I said. "Walk with me."

You followed along as we strode through the void. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere in particular," I said. "It's just nice to walk while we talk."

"So what's the point, then?" You asked. "When I get reborn, I'll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won't matter."

 "Not so!" I said. "You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don't remember them right now."

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. "Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It's like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it's hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you've gained all the experiences it had.

"You've been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven't stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you'd start remembering everything. But there's no point to doing that between each life."

"How many times have I been reincarnated, then?"

"Oh lots. Lots and lots. And into different lives." I said. "This time around, you'll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD."

"Wait, what?" You stammered. "You're sending me back in time?"

"Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from."

"Where you come from?" You said.

"Oh, sure," I explained. "I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you'll want to know what it's like there, but honestly you wouldn't understand."

"Oh," you said, a little let down. "But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point."

"Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don't even know it's happening."

"So what's the point of it all?"

"Seriously?" I asked. "Seriously? You're asking me for the meaning of life? Isn't that a little stereotypical?"

"Well it's a reasonable question," you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. "The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature."

"You mean mankind? You want us to mature?"

"No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect."

"Just me? What about everyone else?"

"There is no one else," I said. "In this universe, there's just you and me."

You stared blankly at me. "But all the people on earth..."

"All you. Different incarnations of you."

"Wait. I'm everyone?!"

"Now you're getting it," I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

"I'm every human being who ever lived?"

"And who will ever live, yes."

"I'm Abraham Lincoln?"

"And you're John Wilkes Booth, too," I added.

"I'm Hitler?" You said, appalled.

"And you're the millions he killed."

"I'm Jesus?"

"And you're everyone who followed him."

You fell silent.

"Every time you victimized someone," I said, "You were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you've done, you've done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you."

You thought for a long time.

"Why?" You asked me. "Why do all this?"

 "Because someday, you will become like me. Because that's what you are. You're one of my kind. You're my child."

"Whoa," you said, incredulous. "You mean I'm a god?"

"No. Not yet. You're a fetus. You're still growing. Once you've lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born."

"So the whole universe," you said, "it's just..."

"An egg." I answered. "Now it's time for you to move on to your next life."

And I sent you on your way.

--Anonymous

DISCLAIMER: I did not write this. This was an anonymous work posted on an anonymous website distributed throughout many parts of the internet. This is not my work, it does not belong to me in any way. The only portions I added were the images. Beyond that, the work remains as it was written.

EDIT: After a bit of digging, I've found the author's name and the original title of this work. It's titled "The Egg" and is credited to Andy Weir.

Holy Birth

I have a story to tell.

My name is Abahu, and I'm a shepherd. I keep track of sheep that other people own. You know, make sure they don't get eaten by anything. It's tough work, but hey, it's a Denarius.

A few nights ago, my friend Achan ("AH-khan", you gotta put your gut into it.) was helping me out with a particularly large flock. It was a really quiet night. The birds weren't fighting with each other, there weren't any wild dogs around to ward off... It was odd. But the sky... Yahweh, the sky was amazing. Stars filled it like sand filled the desert. The scent of sheep and sandalwood filled the air. I loved Bethlehem.

I turned to Achan and I asked him, "What do you think stars are?"
Achan, in his typical snark, replied, "Bright. Especially tonight."
I smiled.

I almost dozed off, it was so quiet, but I knew I needed to stay awake to make sure all 142 sheep would make it through the night. I walked over to a young ewe and whistled as she trotted over to lick my hand.

Then, the sky split open.

I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. It was like the music of cymbals, drums, and trumpets was combined with the noise of thunder, the sea, and the four winds. I put my hands up to shield my eyes... My heart was about to break out of my chest. I turned to Achan as he stared, wide-eyed, at the sky.

"Abahu! What happen? Who this?!" Achan's Galilean accent always came out when he was afraid-- He wasn't raised to speak Aramaic. He wasn't a Jew, like me.

As my eyes finally grew accustomed to the sun bursting into the night sky, I saw something I never will forget. There were people in the sky. Floating. They had wings, but they weren't moving. Then I remembered something the prophet Ezekiel had written about... Were these Messengers?

One of them started to descend, and I started to sweat. What had I done to bring this upon Achan and myself? The being touched the dry ground right in front of me, and I began to kneel down and weep silently. I took a closer look at the Messenger. He had purple skin, bright white hair and his eyes had no pupils, they were just golden spheres glowing from a mouthless head. He had to have been six cubits tall, with his wings that and half again as wide. He had the body of a very feminine man... Or a rather masculine woman.

He spoke.

"Abahu...Achan. Do not be afraid." The echoing words filled the field and shook my bones. Its voice was like music that filled my heart with peace until it began to spill out of my eyes. I began to cry again, this time with joy.

"Do not be afraid. We are here to bring you news that will bring joy to you, and to all people.
It took me a moment to realize it was speaking Hebrew. Achan didn't understand. I began to translate for it as it spoke.

"Today, in David's city, called Bethlehem, one who will save you all has been born into your world. He is Messiah, God on Earth."

As I translated for Achan, my smile returned. He seemed confused. "But... Abahu... There must be more than one baby in Bethlehem. How do we know which is the right one?"

I bit my thumb. Good question. I asked the purple-skinned Messenger, in Hebrew.

"You will know from the Signs. You will find the baby wrapped in cloth, lying in a feeding trough."

I reeled. A feeding trough? Where animals eat? This thing had to be joking. My disbelief must have shown on my face, because the Messenger gave me the closest thing it could to a smile, and shimmered into a gold light that shot straight back up into the Heavens. As suddenly as it had happened, it had ended.

Achan and I were both still shaking. "Abahu, what was that thing?"

"In my language, their name means Messenger." I replied, as I steadied myself with my staff. "We need to go tell people about this. This means all the prophets of my people... They were right. This is unbelievable."

"What about the sheep?" He slowly got to his feet and fetched his own curved staff.

"I have a feeling they'll be all right. Come on, Achan. We have a story to tell."