Ash

I've been away for a long, long time, and I'm sorry you all have been waiting for so long. I'll be more regular in the future. (I say that, but I don't know that for sure. Oh well.)

On a previous post, Burning Letters, I posted a piece called (You guessed it) Burning Letters that I said wasn't finished. I recently fixed it up, gave it a few new themes, a new ending, and a new title and all of this plastic surgery has (hopefully) created a better piece! Tell me what you think in the comments.

Ash

I liked you better when you were alive.
I'm pretty sure you would say the same about me, but
You've been gone for so long that I would rather remember you with a heartbeat
Than with ash slowly drifting up from within your throat,
Caught by the late autumn whispers.
I've burned a few letters to send to you, but I know I won't get a reply.
Turning cinders to paper is harder than the reverse.
I remembered your name today, after weeks of forgetfulness.
I took a sip of water to wash it down, but it got caught on the knot in my stomach.
I tried to wash away the soot but I couldn’t get rid of it,
You’re like smoke from a cigarette that I just can’t exhale.
So I’ll work to sweat you out,
I’ll stamp out the butt of the cig,
I’ll strengthen my lungs,
I’ll write about you and spit about you and tell everyone what happened to you
And I'll burn one last letter for you before I wash you down for good.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

Community College Blues

I'm sitting here, more early in the night than late, eating instant noodles with a Bob Marley shirt on, listening to public radio.
I don't think I can get more College than this.
I say that, but a few of my friends from "real Universities"
May read that and get pissed.

Today I met two new people because I couldn't resist showing off my German skills
(which, anymore, don't actually exist)
And within five minutes of talking to them, I was already on the topic of why high school sucked.
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

I stopped in on an Asian Diversity Club meeting, despite being incredibly not Asian, because of the offer of free food.
And a cute chick.
But mainly free food.
I'm kind of a dick.

I hung around for 12 hours of doing nothing despite having attended classes that I enjoy.
It was a little bit tiring.
I did some philosophy readings, Emerson and Prothero
So my neurons are still firing.

This rhyme scheme isn't working
So let me change it up.
And if you like it,
Maybe drop some change in the cup.

I'm staying up late, writing about War Paint
and domestic restraint
and social complaint,
but I won't faint
I'll let my pupils dilate
As you let your hips gyrate
As I orate
And dictate
And narrate
In a spoken word Vulgate,
Like a holy book from Heaven's Gates

And just drop a clever little notion,
About how each one of us is an ocean

At least, so said a poet that I admire.
But don't forget to respire,
Because before we retire
I would like to repeat words like barbwire
So just call me a surefire squire knight,
Because community colleges are all right
And all these little nuances that I think they're having
Are really showing me exactly how to stay savvy.

I just wrote this about 5 minutes ago, a bit of freewriting to make sure I'm still exercising my brain. 

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

Today is a Silent Day

Ask any American where they where when the planes hit the tower, and they'll know. With little or no hesitation, they will know.

I was very young-- I was in 4th grade at a tiny Christian private school in a suburb of the Twin Cities. The teachers were having a devotion/faculty meeting and had no idea until the second plane hit.

When the principal was informed, he walked to my classroom first (as it was closest to his office) and he quietly called my teacher to join him with the other teachers in his office again. We all figured it was just another meeting.

When my teacher returned, she calmly explained the situation to us. A few of us gasped, others simply grew silent. I just stared. I would like to think I understood it fully then, but that's not really likely. Truth be told, I don't really remember.

Now, I'm older and looking back I am gifted with a certain insight. I now am able to grasp the depth of the events, and I am able to look mindfully into the stories and reports.

I've never been particularly patriotic, so I never got swept up in the whole swell of patriotism whenever 9/11 was mentioned. "Those damned Moslems hate our freedom" was something I knew was bullshit even at 4th grade.It was then really distressing for me to witness some of my friends (white and otherwise) speak so many hateful words about people who were different (or not even so much, depending on your perspective) without any knowledge other than the oversimplified stories that we as children had been spoonfed.

A lot of people have exchanged conspiracy theories, saying it was an inside job, saying the Government itself did it. I don't know if I completely buy into it, but I also don't completely buy into the official story. However, none of that matters. It doesn't matter if it was a conspiracy, it doesn't matter if it was exactly as the government said, it doesn't matter. 2,996 people lost their lives. Any loss of life is a tragedy, and when the death toll is this high, it doesn't matter exactly how it happened anymore. Just that it did.

Today is a silent day. It's important to remember what happened on September 11th of 2011, whether you think it was a terrorist act or a conspiracy or an accident or whatever. it doesn't matter-- Too many died for it to matter. I think it is wise to look mindfully into the tragedy and know the suffering of the victims, of the families, of the rescue forces, of the witnesses, of your own experience. The events had a large impact, from worldwide politics to the schoolyard racism.  Today is a silent day.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

The Oneironaut

And then I looked and I saw a sky full of Big Bangs.
Each genesis lighting up the sky illuminated my path.
Sometimes I wonder if in each and every one of these new universes,
You would be there, healthy and whole, waiting for me.
So, until I know for sure, I’ll set my sails for the unknown shore
Just a few kilometers from my origin.

When the wind smiles at my back and gently caresses my neck,
I remember that night when all of the universes began again.
Sailing on the dreams of last year,
I’ve learned how to navigate lucidity and coast on the current of the subconscious.

Now I’m back again, at the place where the sky gave birth to new existences
Hoping to find breath and catch sight of our waking life.

The bow of my vessel stirs the galaxies below
As I shake off sleep, dusting bits of God off of my shoulders.
Heaven lights up again and I see you, finally, dressed in deep greens, and
Ready to take me in.

I’ve traveled through visions of longing, of terror, of desire and of nostalgia
For longer than I can remember.
I can’t remember the last dream I had,
Here’s hoping you can remind me.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too! 

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

The Dao of Being Human, Part 3

The long-overdue conclusion to earlier posts of mine has now stewed in my head for long enough.

Humanity has a unique gift that I've been researching for quite some time: Self-awareness, or consciousness.

Look closely. Seem familiar? It's your brain, right now.

Human consciousness is earth-shatteringly powerful. We have the power to create amazing things with it using our imagination.

One thing I've come across in my studies is the universal concept of amazing abilities using our consciousness-- Transcendental meditation, shared/lucid dreaming, healing, Qi Gong, shamanic journeys, psychic ability, astral projection, precognition, things like that. Many discount these abilities, but I think they are too numerous to dismiss as a whole.

I've experienced some strange things using my mind, that I won't go into detail here about. But just know this: Your mind is incredibly powerful. Never once discount the power of positive thinking.

Humans have the remarkable ability to affect each other on such a profound level. Any readers who have cashiered at any business will be able to talk about one person whose attitude affected their entire day, be it positively or negatively.

Sometimes this is meant in a very real, practical sense. But some believe there's something deeper than that. Some believe that energy produced by human thought can affect other souls, no matter the distance. This is why some prayers are answered meditation can change attitudes more profoundly in groups, and some mystics such as the mysterious Stylianos Atteshlis are able to cure ailments of some people.

Some even think that very strong energies can affect locations, which is why houses have "ghosts" and your mood can change upon entering a certain area, even if you've been there for the first time. I don't know whether this is true or not, but if these are all product of the minds of OTHERS that can carry lasting effects to your and my own minds, we have not been giving our thoughts enough credit.

These are a lot of big ideas, so I'll ease off. I've talked about what it means to be human, so I'll sum everything up.

Humans connect to other humans.
Humans make mistakes.
Humans unite.
Humans ask.
Humans dream.
Humans learn.
Humans construct.
Humans have potential.
Humans are capable.
Humans hold the universe in their hands.

Let's live up to how amazing we can be, let's show each other what else being Human can be.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too! 

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

42

I am fast approaching the 4200 view mark. That's exciting because it shows me all of the support I've received regarding my writing! I appreciate the support. To kind of commemorate, in a way, I've decided to write 42 things that not everyone may know about me. Sure, it's not the most original idea, but I've received a few suggestions through Formspring and Twitter to do a little something like this.

Feraligatr

1. My favorite Pokémon is Feraligatr.
2. My favorite movie is Zhang YiMou's "Hero".
3. I love Tim Burton movies, most of all Nightmare Before Christmas. Who doesn't like that movie?
4. My main WoW character was a Troll Shaman on Boulderfist (PvP) named Stormtongue.
5. My Greek Zodiac sign is Aries and my Chinese astrological marker is Monkey.
6. I am a Beta tester for Rosetta Stone and make a little bit of cash on the side testing for them. So far I've tested for Spanish, Swedish, and a few others.
7. The specific school of Buddhism I follow is Zen, or Thiền Buddhism.
8. The scar on my face was from a surgery I had to prevent skin cancer. 
9. I pretty much listened to only rock when I was younger, but now I'll listen to a wide, wide spectrum of music. Save for Country, if you play it, I stand a good chance of liking it.
10. My biggest celebrity crush is for either Takeshi Kaneshiro or Felicia Day.
11. I'm not a super huge anime or manga fan, but my favorite manga is Death Note and my favorite anime is probably Samurai Champloo.
12. I have terrible circulation, so my hands and feet are either always hot and swollen or cold and stiff. I rarely have comfortable in-between moments.
13. I'm a total crybaby. A good scene in a film or well-written music can (and will) reduce me to tears.
14. I think Michele Bachmann is one of the most dangerous people we, the people, have allowed into office.
15. My favorite food is phở,
16. But I'll eat anything that tastes good.
17. I love watching films-- I especially love foreign films and dramas, but I can enjoy something as shameless as the Hangover every now and then.
18. My favorite season is Winter. I hate summer. At first, it's really nice, but I get tired of it very quickly.
19. My favorite holiday is Christmas.
20. I am capable of writing raps. I'm not really good, but if I practiced I knew I wouldn't be half bad.
21. My favorite books are many, but my top 5 are Lamb by Christopher Moore, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami, Moby-Dick by Herman Melville and the Dao De Jing by LaoZi.
22. Although I don't have any yet, I have plans for anywhere from 3 to 6 tattoos planned out, location and everything. When I get a bit more money to my name I'll get them done.
23. I really like Marvel superheroes, especially Wolverine and Spider-Man.
24. I'm planning on a major in Mandarin Chinese and Eastern Asian Literature with a minor in Philosophy if I can.
25. Despite what some of my close friends may or may not think, I've dated more white girls than any other ethnicity-- And no, ethnicity plays no role in what kind of girls I'm interested in. Hahah!
26. I don't always watch TV, but when I do, I prefer the USA channel. Or the Late Late show with Craig Ferguson.
27. I don't trust a lot of the things I hear in media, but I do read the newspaper. Hmm.
28. I want either a pet turtle or a pet potbelly pig.
29. I love storms, blizzards, any extreme weather situation.
30. I'm 6'1"/185 cm and 145 lbs/ 65 kg.
31. If I shaved off my goatee, I would look like a lesbian.
32. I am bad at sports. The only ones I enjoy watching on TV is soccer/football or baseball (when the Twins are doing well).
33. I write down every dream I've had after I wake up.
34. I always carry a notebook on me somewhere.
35. I hate guns and everything about them, but I love fooling around with Nerf guns. Those things are awesome. If you never had one, your parents didn't love you.
36. As uncomfortable as I can be around kids, I suppose I handle them well most of the time.
37. I spell my family name with an Umlaut because that's the way the German word is spelled-- I'm not actually sure the German surname is meant to be spelled that way. Oh well, it sets me apart.
38. I drink almost 100 ounces of water during the average school day.
39. I participate in No-Shave November despite not being a hunter (and not actually being able to grow a full beard yet. But not to worry! My day will come).
40. I think the most attractive part of a woman are her eyes. If I notice she has beautiful eyes, I have trouble making eye contact. Just a bit of awkward-ness.
41. Despite always wanting to eat healthy, I have a bit of a sweet tooth, mainly for chocolate. I try not to eat too much. My father always warns me about diabetes. 
42. I was bullied a lot as a kid, but I learned how to deal with people by not dealing with people.

So that's it, the 42 things that not everyone might know. I hope you might have learned something!

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too! 

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

Eloi! Eloi!

It's... A sad story. Most sad stories, you think it would be night time, or raining.
But no, it was hot and bright. A typical midday in August. A warm late-summer breeze was pushing the first few dead leaves across the pavement. I had gone out for a walk to take my mind off of Chinese studies for a while.

I saw the woman sitting, slumped on the ground. Her shoulders were trembling, and at first I thought she was laughing, but I wish that were the case.

She was wearing ripped jeans, with suntouched red hair falling over her brown-skinned shoulders and piercings in her nose and lip. Her white tank top was stained with dirt and what could have been makeup.

And then I heard her crying... No, weeping. Such bitter weeping. She was sobbing as though every good thing had been taken from her, and every loving person had either died or deserted her. I barely heard her words through her heaving and retching, and through her tears I heard her wailing,

"ELOI!!! Eloi, lama sabachthani?!"

Her eyes were shut so tightly that I thought I saw blood stream from them, but her makeup was running down her face. She was pounding at the concrete with her fists until they were bloody, with her face towards the sky, asking again,

"Lama sabachthani?! ELOI!!!"

In her words I heard years of pain, I heard the crying of children and the buzz of locusts. She was screaming so loudly that a small trickle of dark blood slipped down her upper lip, staining her teeth.

No one around seemed to hear her-- Only me. I screamed, "This woman needs help! Somebody HELP!" But I couldn't move my feet, I couldn't look away. The cars kept driving, the shoppers kept rolling their red little carts to their cars and unpacking their groceries. No one noticed-- Or no one cared.

She continued to scream at the clouds until a young man walked up to her slowly. He was wearing jeans frayed and ripped at the knees, with a black beater shirt shiny with blood pouring from his nose. His palms were dripping blood, chapped and raw from rubbing against the streets and as he knelt down beside her he left deep red hand prints on his pants.

He whispered some inaudible phrases to her before he walked away, leaving a single round, black stone in front of her.

She took the stone and rubbed it in her blood-covered palms, whispering to herself before she erupted into another fugue of agony. Again the old words spouted from her lips, and I could only watch as my own tears began pouring. After too long I couldn't take it any more and I stumbled home, breathing too heavily the whole way.

I never knew what blade had pierced that woman, but I will never be able to forget the agony in her wailing. Hell itself could have pitied her.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.