There was a huge accident by my house. I didn't hear it happen, didn't see the lights of the police cruisers or fire engine or ambulances... I would have been entirely ignorant of it if I hadn't heard the helicopter.
I took my ear buds out and watched as the helicopter descended. I ran downstairs, slipped some sneakers on and put on my favorite jacket as I ran to go see what happened.
It was a head-on collision. A black pickup and a grayish four-door. The pickup (because of its design) had enough metal in front to keep the cab mainly intact... But the force of the impact on the smaller car had completely crushed in the door.
There was blood on the inside of the windshield.
I watched for 15 minutes as firefighters tried to open the door. After that, I was shooed away by a police officer.
I don't think I've ever thought so seriously about my own mortality before. Death suddenly got very real.
I don't really know for exact sure what happens when a person dies, but I refuse to believe "that's just the end", as an ex girlfriend of mine once put it. Sometimes I think of it this way: If our bodies are made of the same material as the rest of the universe (which it is, don't try and deny it), and we are alive, isn't it possible that our souls are made of some strange, invisible, imperceptible material that penetrates and envelopes all matter? And so when we die, we return to the earth, to the universe, to Being.
So how would we perceive that? Do we become superconscious deities? Unlikely, I would think. Or do we become part of the greater consciousness a la Evangelion (and yes, I understand a lot of people won't understand that reference)?
I'm still shaken up about what I saw, and I may very well be overreacting, but it really made me think.
Don't take your beating heart for granted. Each breath of air, each drink of water, each beat of our heart... each moment is a blessing.
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