Things I Learned from Pokémon

-It's totally okay for parents to send 10 year old children out to tame superpowered creatures that can vomit nature itself. Totally okay. And not irresponsible whatsoever.

-Naturally ocurring phenomenon include Apricorn fruit growing back in a day, berries growing in less than a week, being able to cure wounds by drinking milk, and sandstorms that NEVER DIE DOWN.

-It's a good idea for little kids to CAPTURE Spirits of Nature

Pictured: Zapdos, Articuno, and Moltres

Time-Travelling Shinto Kami

Celebi

Creators of Land, Sea, and Sky

Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza

Genetically enhanced master-race Superpokémon

Mewtwo

And GOD HIMSELF

Arceus

into tiny little balls about the size of an orange to call on whenever they need bitch-work done.

-Any Pokémon that you catch, if you already have 6 on your person, is teleported instantaneously to a computer that belongs to some weirdo 6 regions away. That would technically make that Pokémon his personal property.  Congrats, Bill, for becoming the Steve Jobs of the Pokémon world.

-Speaking of Bill, it's okay if you suddenly get your genes swapped with a Pokémon, because some random 10 year old will barge into your lab unannounced, uninvited and will surely know how to operate your highly scientific teleportation machine so that you can get your genes un-spliced.

- Just because a Mime is called Mr. doesn't mean it's not a lady.

-If you make eye contact with anyone you don't know, you MUST fight them. You have no choice.

-You can destroy Poison by throwing dirt on it, or by thinking. Really hard.

-Similarly, in a fight between the average insect and the average disciplined martial artist, The bug won't do very much damage... But neither will the fighter.

-However, Bugs do a number on psychics and dark-types alike.

-The more you walk around, the more your captured creatures will love you even though you keep them in tiny little balls until you bring them out to fight... for sport.

-It's fine to barge right in to anyone's house if it's unlocked. If you find shit lying on the ground, it's fair game.

-It's okay to build a castle right underneath the League of the most powerful Pokémon trainers in the region. That's not risky. They won't notice.

-Hyper Beam. All day, every day.

Why Snorlax Has the Right Idea

Traum

Exhaustion sweeps over me like a tidal wave of sleepy blue silk
The fluid, viscous substance slows me
I feel heavy, weighed down as though by drenched clothing
The tide comes in, and I hear the lullaby of ten thousand soft voices
My eyes close and I feel the waves wash over me, covering me, swaddling me
I slip across the barrier
Where it is only mine, mine and no one else's
A box of sand I sprinkle into my eyes
To bring good dreams, or blindness
Which may after all be one in the same.

I like sleeping. I do it a lot. I think the number one thing people my age don't do enough of is sleep. Well, that and drink enough water. But mainly sleep.

Sleep, and dreaming, have both always been a really strange phenomena to me. There is nothing quite like dreaming. I think of it as letting your brain and soul really go wild while your body takes a breather. Whenever a dream wakes me up, I always reach for a notebook and pen so I can write it down, as most dreams are completely forgotten during the course of the day. Reading through of them, I realize how truly foolish it is to let my brain idle. Note, some of the text is illegible because I can't write well in the dark after waking up in the middle of the night from a crazy dream.

"And took the....<illegible>... sword and stuck it into his gut, but he doesn't die. He stays there and stares at me, like 'what the hell, man' and gets up and walks away like I had just scuffed his shoes or something. Then I'm taken by a big burly guy to a... <illegible>... and said that I was under arrest for "Generally being a dick".

 Yeah, that happened just two nights ago. I definitely stabbed someone and was arrested for "Generally being a dick" which, I suppose, is a good way of putting it. Another:

"She was stuttering! She was freaking stuttering and telling me that it was ALL MY FAULT. She was saying something in Chinese, it sounded like song lyrics... Maybe 方大同的 music or something... <Illegible, I think I was trying to write Chinese here> So I was telling her to snap out of  it so I can at least understand her correctly and ... <illegible> I find a set of horse blinders and stick it on her face and tell her "Hi ho, Silver, Away!"

 Dream-David has a genius way of getting rid of annoying bitches.

Anyway, I think more people should sleep more. If not for the health, than for the sharing of fantastic crazy dream sequences.

We all can learn a great deal from this guy.

Houses, Monopoly, and Pokemon

Today was a good day. I got my homework done on time, I hung out with a good friend of mine after not seeing him for a while, I made a new friend, and I got a lot done in planning a new DnD campaign. I also got my ass handed to me in Monopoly, but that's all good.

And that's what he did with my money. Smug fucker.

I am very humbled, every time, when one of my friends invites me over to their home. It's a very lovely thing, to be able to extend a gesture of friendship like that. Your home is your core; it's the hub of everything that goes on in your life. To bring someone there is a great act of kindness. You introduce someone to your parents, you invite them for dinner, and you essentially share a part of your life with them.  I just want to extend my thanks to all of my friends who have ever invited me to their home.

On a slightly related (read: completely fucking irrelevant) note, I've started to re-play my copy of Pokemon Diamond. That's right. Pokemon Diamond. Pokemon is one of those things that if you've had it in your childhood, you totally get. It's ingrained within you. The challenge of collecting is exciting, and you all know how awesome it is when you finally drop the Elite IV.

However, if you had had no contact with it during the course of your childhood (you poor, poor soul) you wouldn't really understand it if you just looked at some of the damn things. Some of them are unbearably cute.

"I'm going to choose Squirtle! It's the CUTEST~!"

Some others, however, are completely and pitifully ugly.

Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife.

But, really, I enjoy the games. They're nothing more or less than a pastime. I don't know if I will ever completely outgrow them. Sure, I'll get old and they'll be an old franchise from when I was a kid... But I'll always enjoy the novelty of collecting little monsters because why the fuck not. If someone my age were to see me hanging out on the corner, DS in hand, fighting a Gym Leader, They'd have on of two reactions.

"Pokemon!? Rock on! "

Or...

"Pokemon!? Grow up, man. You're 19."

This makes me kind of sad. If you enjoy something, shouldn't that be enough? A lot of people are afraid to do what they enjoy because of what others may think. Age doesn't really mean anything to a DS or a Gameboy. Childhood is important, after all... and sometimes we need something to hold onto from that childhood to help us through adulthood.

If you've played (and still do play) Pokemon, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you haven't, find a friend who has a spare system to teach you how to play. It's nothing but pure, clean, innocent, childlike fun.