Burning Letters

Just a rough draft of something that's been swimming in my head for a few days. Tell me what you think in the comments!

I liked you better when you were alive.
I'm pretty sure you would say the same about me, but
You've been gone for so long that I would rather remember you with a heartbeat
Than with a grandfather clock's last chime in your throat.
I've burned a few letters to send to you, but I know I won't get a reply.
Turning ash to paper is harder than the reverse.
I remembered your name today, at a baseball game.
I took a sip of water to wash it down, but it got caught on the knot in my stomach.
Maybe you needed your own Rikki-Tikki to fight the cobras slithering across your scalp,
But in the end you were poisoned by your own locks, the way you wanted.
You petrified all of the mongooses with your gaze intentionally.
So I'll burn one last letter for you before I wash you down for good.

I know it ends a bit abruptly, that's something I'm planning on fixing. This is one I'm going to be working on in the future, and I'll post the latest draft (can't surely say 'final') when I feel like taking a break from it.

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Peace and Love, thank you for reading. Stay Human.

Why?

Why did you do so much for me?
I talked down to you and spat insults at you.
Why did you give so much love to me?
I used you for my own gains, and left you cold and deserted in my wake,
With pain in your belly and blood on the ground.

Why did you go against your better judgment, and the advice of your loved ones
And give me so much of your soul?
Why did you let me ravage your self esteem, rob you of your freedom and assassinate your trust
When you were a resource to me?
Why did you trade so many pieces of your heart with me,
So I would always have a bit of you with me?
Why did you let me do the things I did?
Why did you love me?

Why couldn't I see what I was doing?
Why was I so blind to the tears, so deaf to the heaving sobs?
I had no rhyme or reason to the rampage I wrought.
I was rolling dice
And stacking bets with emotions.

Why do you still give me this love?
Why am I shown such grace?
I don't deserve it now, just like I didn't deserve you then.
Why?

Why did you whisper to me, "You're a good man"?
Why did you tell me, "I will do anything for you"?
Why did you give me so much so soon?
Why, out of all of the ones you saw, you chose me?