Sunday, October 16, 2011

Respect and Trust

I have some pretty strong ideas when it comes to the notions of Respect and Trust.

Respect is strange. It has played a large part in a lot of my motivation in the past few months regarding the decisions I've been making. I want to be respected-- Doesn't everyone? It's natural and human to want such things. However, I believe that you have to give respect in order to be respected. Now, what is respect? Is it as simple as kindness, as sought-after as honor, as demanding as taxation?

I think respect is pretty straightforward. Respect is all about being able to say "this person has worth". That's all it is, to me. Now, how your behavior reflects that is a whole different animal. If a teacher has worth because he teaches students, and the students are deemed by the teacher worthy of teaching, then that is a mutual respect, no? But if someone asks for respect and can't give a reason why it should be mutual, I say that they deserve very little respect.

Now, I grew up in a very Western zone of influence. Western societies generally don't have such large displays of respect like spoken honorifics, traditional grammar, or bowing. I believe showing respect is as much in the tiny little efforts as well as the way you carry yourself around. Responding to e-mails promptly, making eye contact, being patient, and doing minor favors are all little things, but when stacked together they make a very impressive display of respect, not only for others but also for yourself.

Respect is a good thing to display because displays of respect are the building blocks for good relationships with other people. Good relationships are very important to me, but I always try to keep in mind that if they aren't showing respect, chances are they don't deserve it.

Trust, as well, is a very odd thing. As the old adage goes, like a house of cards, it takes a lot of patience and dexterity to build and maintain, but even the faintest breeze of a mistake can bring the whole thing toppling down.



A good friend of mine constantly says "Trust is earned." He's always (or, at least, as long as I've known him) been very slow to give someone trust and is very wary of other peoples' actions. He and I have a lot of basic differences about our personalities. I'm not necessarily quick to trust, but I am incredibly quick and eager to learn. The more I learn about someone, the more comfortable I feel making the judgment of whether or not I can trust them. I may not be the most eager to let you into my life, but if I feel you can be trusted, you and I will be fast friends.

Trust may be earned, but shutting yourself off from people is destructive. Humans are social creatures-- We need others. That is a fact. When I last spoke to this friend, he heavily implied (willingly or not) that he no longer trusted me. At the time, I really didn't care. And I still don't! If something simple can destroy trust, it was never truly trust in the first place. That being said, I think there was a lot of emotion behind it on both sides, so he might not have meant it that way and I might have been reading too far into it.

Regardless, Respect and Trust are important concepts to me. I just keep in mind that it's always vital to keep what really matters in mind.

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Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

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