Living as a Lion

As much as I love to be a participator in life, you know... Be included, involve myself in things, start up conversations, et cetera... As much as I love that, I equally love being an observer. I absolutely live for the sharing of ideas, especially if they are ideas that are completely alien to me. This may or not be because I incorporate a lot of ideas that are predominantly Buddhist and/or Daoist into my own beliefs-- i. e., "Those who know, do not speak. Those who speak, do not know." That sort of thing. However, on the other side of that coin is a side of me that really caused a lot of dissonance within me and didn't fall quite right with me.

That side of me is a fighter by nature. I would rather not engage in conflict, but if I see no other way out, I will not back down and I will fight... fiercely. I have a hell of a time reconciling that with my endeavor to be peaceful in nature, and with my desire to also treat people with respect and love in all cases.

Within Daoism especially is where the dissonance lay. Daoism speaks of a concept known as "无为", "wú​wéi": It translates roughly to "Inaction" or "non-doing". It says that if you take no action, everything flows on in the right, natural course.

This led me to a bit of an internal conflict. For example, if I walked down the street and noticed a good friend of mine being mugged, would I simply sit and watch it happen? Of course not! That can't be right. I wouldn't outright hurt the mugger, but I would do everything I can to defend the lives of both myself and my friend. But would that really fall in line with my core belief of Inaction?

That thought plagued me for months. I meditated upon it constantly until I finally came upon a realization. "Non-doing" or Inaction does not mean sitting and watching life go by. It means participating in it, taking it day by day, and going with the flow: Letting things take their natural course! When the time is right, someone who is really in line with Daoism won't take action: That person will let the action take them.

We shouldn't be hesitant to defend ourselves. We should not be aggressive, though! We should be sturdy and we should stick to what our instincts tell us is right. In the grand scheme of things, though, we do need to realize that it's not incredibly important and the discretion to know action from inaction is key.

I read a quote that stems from a very famous graffiti photograph that has inspired a lot of people, including myself.

"It is better to live one day as a Lion than one thousand days as a Lamb."

My best friend once asked me a peculiar question out of nowhere.

"David, fight or follow?"

 At first, I thought of it as somewhat of an unfair or loaded question. Surely I would need a bit more context! However, she intentionally denied me any such thing. I thought about it for a moment and answered,

"Follow. I think a lot of the things we think matter, in the end, really don't. And that's completely okay. While it's not a bad thing to stick up for what you believe in in any case, I think I personally would rather just avoid the conflict."

 It was the best response I could offer. She responded that she would rather fight, and I was not at all surprised. What I admire most about this girl is the fire in her heart, the ever-extended middle finger she displays to the world.

I used to fight with my family a lot, especially my mother. I've always been the black sheep of the family, and I used to think that my differences were, in a word, irreconcilable. After I was shocked out of it by a few big impacts, I tried to be as peaceful as possible. I tried to preserve harmony at all costs, even if it meant certain people were walking all over me. Now, however, I owe my friend so much for teaching me how to reignite, reforge, and focus my fighting spirit into something different than anger: resolve.

Fight or follow, lion or lamb... Somewhere between these two extremes lies where I try to live. I know that discretion is the better part of valor, and that sometimes it's better to just smile and nod patiently... But I also know that there are simply some things that are not right. When instinct tells me what to do, I try to know to let the right action take me.