The Dao of Travel

I recently began work at a chocolate store. It's fun work, with cool people, good hours, and good pay. Seeing as most people like chocolate, we're somewhat popular, and through my work I do have opportunities to meet some rather interesting types.

Today, I had one of those opportunities. A younger man, probably in his late 20s, came in with a beautiful woman about the same age. Together they joked and looked and filled a couple boxes and bought a few bits of chocolate-covered fruit. He wore a large, stiff-looking cast that kept his right arm at about a 90ish degree angle. Being the personable type I am (and needing to fill time as the computer processed his transaction), I asked him about it. His reply was quite unexpected.

"Yeah, I was in Mongolia for the past 3 months and some jackass came out of nowhere and broke my arm in 5 places. You think in most parts of Asia they're just dicking around and just don't obey the laws for whatever reason, but in Mongolia they seriously have no idea what they're doing."

I took it in, realized he was joking about Mongolian drivers, and asked him why he spent so much time in Mongolia. He explained he was there teaching English and traveling for the most part, and had quite literally (just an hour and 45 minutes ago, he explained) touched back down in America. He asked me if I traveled, and I replied honestly,

"A little bit-- though not recently. The most interesting place I've been was Saigon."

Pic related.

The fact that I called the city Saigon (as opposed to Ho Chi Minh City) sparked his interest, and we began a lengthy talk. We shared stories and laughed at each others' "Stupid American" moments. It was a truly human conversation, and I was lucky to meet him. One of his final questions he asked me was,

"So, were you living in Saigon, or just traveling?"

And my response came to me so naturally and unexpectedly that I couldn't help but smile at myself.

"Well, if you aren't traveling, you aren't living."

He and his companion departed to explore the rest of the tangled jungle of capitalism that is the Mall of America, and I went off to my lunch break. As I sat, eating my food and sitting still, I meditated on what I had said.

In Zen teachings, that which is spontaneous is said to be the most honest and truthful. That's the true purpose of the Zen koan, or riddle, such as the famous "Tree Falls in a Forest" question. There is no true answer, it's simply meant to get you to respond spontaneously. My answer to this man's question felt like a response to a koan. Before I even realized it, the words had bubbled out of my mouth. I realized that this is how I truly felt. Even if it didn't apply to everyone, it certainly applied to me.

I came to the simple conclusion that I am getting the urge to travel again. I feel like I need it! I need to go out of my comfort zone, go somewhere that I need to learn a language for. I need to get away from the part time job, and the laptop, and the sleeping for 10 hours, and the capitalism and the Arnold Palmers and the freshly-mowed lawns and the $48.12 to fill my car. I need to leave that behind, even if it's only for a month, or 3 weeks, or hell, even 1 week.

To illustrate the concept of traveling, I have procured this Googled image of Kowloon in Hong Kong.

This conclusion was amplified later in the day when my new manager (new to the store, not new simply because it's a new job for me) asked me what kind of Muppet I am. She explained that there are two kinds of Muppets that Henson created: Chaos Muppets and Order Muppets. Order Muppets feel compelled to organize, divide, compartmentalize, and control, whereas Chaos Muppets enjoy unpredictability, passion, and self-government. After processing the fact that my boss was trying to manage her new store with Muppet logic, I told her that I am by far a Chaos Muppet. I enjoy unpredictability and hate being tied down. I love having a new adventure every day and despise being enslaved to routine.

On my drive home, I had words from the Dao De Jing echoing in my head (big surprise, eh?):

"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving."

That passage effectively sums up everything I feel right now. I think Daoism got it right about it's approach to traveling. In Daoist culture, wandering is considered the best form of traveling. Wandering for the purpose of discovery, for the purpose of understanding, for the purpose of experience. That's what I think more people need to do. To travel with an empty mind, a light pack, durable shoes, and a thirst to experience, with flexibility and a smile on their faces will do wonders for the soul.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Go forth and do good things, my friends.

The Way and The Awake

On my Formspring Account, I quite recently received a series of questions about the differences between Buddhism and Daoism. I didn't want to take the time to answer them on Formspring (where my thoughts would result in an unwarranted wall of text), so the inquirer suggested I post it on my blog (where a wall of text is completely warranted).

Daoism and Buddhism get along well. Laozi and Siddhartha would have been good friends had they ever met! Despite this, they have their differences, because they tackle different social and spiritual issues.

The world-known Taijitu, or the symbol of yin and yang.

Daoism (also spelled Taoism) comes from the Chinese word 道 (dào), which literally means "road", "way", or "path". The (arguably) earliest known work that speaks of the Dao is the 道德经 (Dào​dé​jīng), which literally means "The Classic Text of the Way and Virtue". The other text that I rely on most heavily, second to the Daodejing, is the 庄子 (Zhuāng​zǐ), named for Zhuangzi who wrote it.

Daoism is predominantly Chinese in origin, but has spread very indirectly and very subtly to influence Japan, Korea, and Vietnam, as well as a handful of other countries in smaller varieties.

The primary principles of Daoism include the concepts of the dao, qi, wuwei, the wu xing or 5 "elements" or "stages", Feng Shui, and perhaps the most famous aspects, the concepts of yin and yang. Daoism stresses health, longevity, compassion, moderation, and humility.

So, the most popular question I get is, "What is the Dao?" The Dao is described as being indescribable. "Well, shit." I know, I know, it seems like a copout on Laozi's part, but the Dao is deeper than that. It's the source of all being. The way to inner peace and outer strength. The binding connectivity of all that is. We are the Dao, and the Dao is in us. But it is possible to stray from the Dao, by straying from nature, from peace, and from simplicity.

I mentioned 無爲 (wúwéi), and I realize that's probably an unfamiliar term. It means, roughly, "non-action" or "non-doing". Wuwei is best described as being patient, mindful, and willing to ask yourself , "Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?" Chapter 15 of the Daodejing is my favorite example of describing wuwei. Through wuwei, you get closer to the Dao. Wuwei always leads to the path of least resistance-- The metaphor Laozi uses is water. Nothing is softer than water, yet through its softness it overcomes rock, steel, humankind, and animals. It gives life and nourishes all things, but knows how to kill. It always takes the lowest path, the most humble Way, and through that humility it is brought to power. Through this knowledge, it's easy to see that the purpose a Daoist takes on is to align himself harmoniously with the Dao.

Daoism arose as a clear response to Confucianism, which placed certain things above others. That, by nature, resulted in a large amount of inequality in ancient China. Laozi and Zhuangzi say in response to that basic inequality, "Hey, man, listen. Money, fame, filial piety, power, those things are all fine... But we only know what "low" is because we assign value to "high". We only know "beauty" because we know "ugliness"." By getting rid of the comparison, they get rid of the inequality. Besides, in the end, we all come from the Dao, so we all are equal in nature because the Dao does not take sides.

A lot of Daoism-influenced countries worship Laozi and Zhuangzi (knowingly or unknowingly) as gods or idols, but I sincerely doubt either of them would have cared much. Maybe they might have even reprimanded those who do so?

So, what does a Daoist expect in death? Daoists believe that the soul is eternal. Instead of true death, that soul, that qi, is transferred or reappropriated somewhere else; maybe to a tree, an animal, maybe another human. So, Daoism believes in a form of reincarnation.

Buddhism is a few centuries earlier than Daoism. The word "Buddha" isn't a name-- It's a title. "Buddha" literally means "one who is Awake". Unlike many other religions and beliefs, the works that reference the Buddha and his teachings didn't start showing up until hundreds of years after Siddartha Gautama Buddha's death.

Siddhartha Gautama was an Indian official or prince; the son of a cleric. He grew up in a world full of Hinduism, and Hinduism's consequent caste system. Buddhism is completely Indian in origin, but it has spread wildly throughout not only Asia, but the entire world.

The primary teachings of Buddhism include the concept of reincarnation, the nonexistence of the human soul, the importance of compassion, and stresses many of the same values as Daoism.

I mentioned the caste system earlier. At the heart of the caste system, similarly to Confucianism, lies inequality. Siddhartha Gautama witnessed this inequality at a young age, and set out to find out the core reason for all of this suffering. He came to the conclusion that to live means you will suffer, without doubt. At the root of this suffering is desire. By getting rid of the desire, you can alleviate the suffering.

Buddhism arose as a clear attack on the caste system that was riddled with social, monetary, and (according to the Hindus) spiritual inequality.The Hindus were all about advancing to the next level, because of the transmigration of the soul. The Buddha, however, saw all of the inequality and social suffering this system of beliefs created, and went ahead to say "Fuck it! You don't have a soul. What transmigrates is the mind, not the soul."

In some countries (mainly southeast Asia), Gautama Buddha is revered as a God. However, he stated numerous times to his disciples that he did not want that at all. Funny how things work out.

A Buddhist believes in reincarnation after death, similar to Daoists. The goal of a Buddhist is to be reincarnated enough times through samsara, or existence, to emerge into Nirvana, the popular grunge band escape from reincarnation into a state of being-nonbeing.


Daoism and Buddhism obviously get along very well, but the key differences are in the details. The Daoist way of life is focused on aligning oneself to the natural way of the cosmos, while the Buddhist is trying to understand and surpass pain and suffering through leading a moral life. If you have any more questions about the differences, similarities, or anything about these two belief systems, you can ask about it in the comments or by way of any of my social networks listed below.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

The Dao of Drama

Drama sucks. It sucks to deal with, it sucks to have it thrust upon you, but above all, it sucks to have a bad habit of starting it.

Bowling for Soup, a punk band from the throes of the early 2000s, has a song called "High School Never Ends". When I first heard it, the chorus seemed poppy and easygoing.

"The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And you still don’t have the right look
And you don’t have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends"

 Then, upon further inspection, I realized they were making a really depressing subtle claim about the way people seem to get stuck in that sort of paradigm. 

Now, I'm convinced that that paradigm is the source of most disagreements in high school, and a lot of the drama that people experience in every day life and relationships ends up boiling down to an extension of that way of thinking.

I won't sugarcoat it. The reason I am writing this post is because there is a lot of useless drama going on with a certain circle of my friends. All I'm going to say is that I kept a secret that I shouldn't have kept and it ended up putting a huge fissure between one of my best friends and myself. I'm trying to evaluate the situation and look at it mindfully, but it's becoming harder to do that with every passing day. I'm losing sight of the Dao, so writing this is post is a bit of an effort to rediscover it. I need to give it time to heal.

Now, I'll be the first to say that I'm definitely one to blame, but this whole situation was bad to begin with and has been slowly spiraling out of control. I really wish I could do something about it, but I get the strong feeling that taking direct action would just agitate the waters further. To quote my favorite passage from the Dao De Jing,

"Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear."

I have to give it time to heal.

So, this drama is a product of that fore-mentioned thinking and I need to find a way to get out of high school and deal with this bullshit. What I'm planning on doing is just letting the tension settle and wait for a while. If I don't hear back from my good friend after a few days, I'm going to go to him and explain to him why I kept that terrible secret from him.

Now, readers, I'm going to share something incredibly personal with you (and this is very hard for me to do, so... be gentle.) The reason I had to keep that secret is because I have a hard time balancing my introversion with something called Histrionic Personality Disorder. Not even a few members of my own family know I have it. 

Histrionic Personality Disorder is a personality disorder that manifests itself as a never-ending desire for attention, approval, and drama. People who have trouble dealing with it can be "lively, dramatic, vivacious, enthusiastic, and flirtatious". Not many of my friends know that I suffer from it, but I think it's about time I come to terms with it.

I know I have issues I need to resolve, but I will not continue to hide from it. Neither will I use it as an excuse. 

It's time to heal.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

Interview 1: Jerem-why

I've started to meet some really interesting people doing my own creative work, so for my own sake I wanted to ask them a few questions about what they do. The answers I got back were really interesting, so I think I'll share them with you. Today, you will learn a little bit about my good friend Jeremy, who is a spoken-word artist like myself.

-Jeremy, how did you get involved doing creative work in the first place?
"I would have to say that I got involved in doing creative work when I met Fidelis, Josh, and Natan [other members of the group] and we started jamming out in the piano rooms at school just freestyling. I used to write a lot when I was 18/19 but not until 4 or 5 months ago did I really start to dive into writing from the depths of me."

-So far, what has been your best memory doing creative work?
"I would have to say that the best memory I have doing creative work would have to be the joy and elation of sharing my piece "My Brother" with Fidelis face to face just after I had written it. There was an immense creative energy between us that I felt upon reading that to him."

 -What piece that you've written do you feel best expresses you?
"To be honest, even though it was written while I was withdrawing from Nicotine, I would have to say it is my piece "Dear Non-smoking Friends" because before I wrote that piece I had never been so honest in my writings...ever."

-What has been your biggest influence in writing?
"My biggest influence in my writings have been [the other members of] Random Receipts. Each and every person involved with the group has inspired me in ways I cannot explain with mere words. But most definitely the sharing of creativity between all of us is what inspires my writings most." 

-Do you have any advice for people who want to get into the creative scene?
"My advice for people who want to get into the creative scene is to stop trying to get into the creative scene. You are already a creative being who creates every moment of every day which means you are already in the creative scene-- you just don't realize it yet. Try and find wonderful people who's ego's aren't too inflated, try and find genuine people who are accepting of others works and share with them everything you've ever written even if you're scared shitless to do so. Either that, or, come hang out with Random Receipts!"  

-A quote that inspires you?

"The answer is never the answer. What's really interesting is the mystery. If you seek the mystery instead of the answer, you'll always be seeking. I've never seen anybody really find the answer. They think they have, so they stop thinking. But the job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which strange plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer."

-Ken Kesey

The reason this quote inspires me is because it reminds me of the Dao.


Creativity is flowing through my veins, step to me and you'll get love filled words 
that will destroy your ego more quickly than clinched fists will damage your physical body, 
consider me something similar to godly the way I create something out of nothing, 
so I ask you...to the plate, what is it that you bring? Do you draw, paint, sing? 
What is it that you have to offer the world around you? 
I ASK YOU, what is it that you do? 
You must answer this question before I allow you into my temple because my inner realms are sacred, 
there's only room for love, not hatred. 
I'm not down with fake shit or a quick fix, I'm not here to listen to your clever words the way you play tricks, I'm in the moment so consider me present, 
if you're searching for a guru I have nothing to share with you, no life lessons, 
I'm over the endless nights of self created stresses, 
I have left anxiety begging me for more but you should've seen how quickly I shut that door. 
Goodnight to the fear of night and good morning to the love of day, where sun filled skies, and the chatter amongst birds guide me along my path and show me the Way.

--Jeremy Kemp 


I had a lot of fun contemplating Jeremy's answers. He has a lot of insight into the world around him, and he oftentimes isn't afraid to share what he's thinking. 

If you like what you've read, you can like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.
Thanks for reading! 

The Dao of Chance

I'm writing this at 1:02 AM, Central Time. About an hour and a half ago I was in a car accident in St. Paul.

I was driving with four other people in a four-door, so it was quite... friendly... for the people in the back. We had been at a karaoke bar singing like fools, eating mediocre food and drinking terrible coffee. The ride back was energetic, but I was uncomfortable for some reason. (Psychic foreshadowing? Probably too much coffee.) As I was driving, I glanced back for just a second, which ended up being just a second too long. The light was red; I saw someone coming from my right. I braked, set off the horn, turned into the direction of the other car, but still made contact. The shrill screech of metal on metal and crash of the plastic turn signal made me cringe.

I shifted into park, turned on the lights and immediately asked if everyone was all right. No one in my car was hurt. I walked over to the other driver (who thankfully was alone) and asked if he was hurt. I was incredibly relieved to find that no one had been injured.

But the damage had been done. From what I understand, the other car's axle or wheel or something had been jacked up, and he was unable to get it into a safer place, so I called a police officer and pulled Tori (My white Sable) over to the curb of the adjacent street. I asked the girl in the passenger's seat to locate my insurance card as I pulled out my license.

Unsure of what to do in the situation, I did what any self-respecting adult would do. I called Mom. She gave me the best advice she could from miles away as I noticed my hands were shaking. It wasn't a serious accident; I couldn't explain to myself why that was happening. I got everything sorted with the officer and gave the keys to one of my friends as I slipped into the passenger's seat and repeated a calming mantra to myself.

After a calmer mindset settled in, I realized something very comforting. While the accident itself had been unfortunate, I realized exactly how fortunate I, my friends, and the other driver were. Had I been looking behind me, I would not have been able to brake. Had the other driver been a split second earlier, I would have likely T-boned him. Had I been a split second earlier, he might have hit the passenger's side door and might have injured one or more of my friends. Thinking even further back, just earlier last week my car's brakes had been completely shot. If I had been driving without proper brakes, it would have been incredibly likely that one or more people would have been injured. I could go on, but my point is that it could have been much, much worse.

A simple thought formed in my head upon this realization: I simply have one more reason to be grateful for my life. Even a minor accident like this is part of the Dao, as it was the natural course. It happened, therefore all I can do is act like a river and flow around the rock in my path. I will handle it, and move past it. I am safe and secure along with my friends and the other driver. That is definitely something to be grateful for. Accidents happen. That's why they're called accidents. It's just another way the Dao expresses itself.

In fact, the Dao De Jing puts it quite simply:

"Welcome disgrace as a pleasant surprise.
Prize calamities as your own body.

Why should we 'welcome disgrace as a pleasant surprise'?
Because a lowly state is a boon:
Getting it is a pleasant surprise,
And so is losing it!

...Why should we 'prize calamities as our own body '?
Because our body is the very source of calamity.
If we have no body, what calamity can we have? "

It says this to serve as a reminder for us. I was in a car accident so I can be reminded to be grateful that I even have a car to be in an accident with. 

After receiving a hug from one friend, some calming words from another, a laugh from a third and some delicious Chai latte-flavored ice cream from a fourth, as well as forgiveness and advice from my Mom, I'm feeling a lot better about it, although I still view it as a careless and avoidable mistake. I lost my mindfulness, my awareness. That's something I've been training myself daily to avoid, but that only means I can use this as a very valuable experience to learn to stay in the Zen mindset, to stay in mindfulness, in all moments.

When accidents happen, remember to use the experience. To not learn from it would be foolish! I will do my best to use this experience, and every misfortune in the future, to remember how fortunate I really am.

The Dao of the Everyday

Whenever I tell people that I follow traditional Daoist philosophy, I usually one of three reactions.

1. "...What's Daoism? "
2. "Oh, really? That's... different. How did you learn about that? "
3. "You don't really strike me as that kind of guy. "  

 I've pretty much learned how to discuss my philosophy well enough to get the point across to a member of any of these groups. One question that I've always received (in one form or another) is, "How do you know when someone is living in the Dao?", which is sometimes asked more like "How do Daoists go about everyday business?" It's a difficult question to answer, because the Dao is completely inexplicable in every way.

"The Way that can be expressed is not the real Way. "

That's the FIRST THING that is taught about the Dao. So, it's always easier to explain the effect that the Dao has on the individual.

• Simplicity.  Daoists will always go about their business in the simplest possible way-- The easiest metaphor is the image of water flowing around a rock. When an obstacle is present, it is always easiest to flow around it and try a different way. Daoists conserve their energy and are often content with what they have. It's not that they aren't ambitious; They simply go after the easiest way possible.
• Sensitivity. Daoists are incredibly observant people. They try and avoid aggression whenever possible and do what they can to help those in need. Daoists have a mysterious affinity for nature and oftentimes spend hours in wilderness learning from the seasons, studying life, and absorbing nature's creative anima. Nature is not the same thing as the Dao, but it is an expression of the Dao and is thus completely flawless and a window into the Dao.
• Flexibility. One of my good friend's name is the word for "Bamboo" in her native language. She once told me that her family gave her that name because they wanted her to be flexible, and in that flexibility she would have strength. Whether she knows it or not, that's a perfect illustration of the Dao. The Dao De Jing (道德经）says that newborn life is strong because it's soft and supple, and dead bodies are rigid and brittle when they are dead. The Dao holds that everything in the world is relative, and that nothing is absolute. Choices are always made from circumstances, not from preconceived notions.
• Independence. People who follow the Dao often don't pay attention (or even really care about) what society says. They don't pay attention to fads, trends, common-spread morality, or even most political movements. It isn't because Daoists are immoral-- It's because they act from a very profound, deep level of the spirit. Because of this, many religions and politicians throughout ages have accused Daoism of being dangerous or complacent. Those who follow the Dao value wisdom and affirm experience over government and etiquette.
• Focus. Those who follow the Dao have an intense inner focus. They accept who they are, and view that as the first step towards accepting all things as they are. They know how futile it is to try and be someone they are not. They accept that they were born and that they will die. This offers an opportunity to view the distance between those as a journey to be traveled. Many Daoists meditate on these precepts and gain a very focused view on the world.
• Mindfulness. Though strictly speaking a concept stemming from Buddhism, Daoism also participate in it. Tying in closely with the previous attribute, Daoists learn to see everything within everything. The old animistic teaching comes back: "Everything that is, is alive." If you ask a person what bread is, often times one who follows the Dao will describe it as being made of grain, water, heat, soil, the sun, air, time, et cetera. They will describe it as being made completely of non-bread elements. Seeing as we are made of non-human elements in the same manner, we know we are within the bread just as the bread is within us. This can be a source of great happiness-- all from mindfulness. As Jostein Gaarder wrote: "We, too, are stardust."
• Discipline. Most Daoists believe in the value of longevity, and try and live in a way that will prolong their lives as much as possible. At the very loosest, this means many abstain from drugs and tobacco. At the absolute strictest, many Daoists live on vegetarian diets and forbid any alcohol from entering their bodies, many even taking it so far as to live on little more than rice and water. The Dao shows patience, kindness, and love in every case.
• Joy. When a person glimpses into the Dao, it forever changes them. Sometimes it's described as seeing God or achieving Enlightenment. The experience can never be erased. The Dao grants a sense of connectedness to the source of life, to a force of sustenance. One who sees the Dao does not fear tyranny-- No tyrant can take the Dao from them. She does not fear poverty, because the Dao grants a profound wealth beyond imagination. She does not fear loneliness, because through the Dao, every living thing is surrounding them. She does not fear death, because through the Dao, everything that is is alive.

The Dao has fascinating effects on the self, but understand that this is not to say that only Daoists may experience this. In fact, the people I have met who best act through the Dao have been Christians, Buddhists, Atheists, and Shintoists. acting in wisdom, patience, and love.

The Dao of Jealousy

Last night I was spending time with two of my good friends. We had gone to get some Burger King, and we sat outside because we didn't want to dirty the lobby of the restaurant at 12h30 in the morning. We began to talk about something, anything, many things, nothing. One of my friends whips out his laptop and displays a personality test for some laughs, and we all realize that it suits him to a T. It was a good night.

As we were driving back to my place, the two guys I was spending time with both told me that they were slightly jealous of me. That really confused me. What do I have that would make others jealous? I didn't (and still don't) understand.

I've always said that while satisfaction may be brought by outside influences such as money, fame, games, sex, things like that, happiness is something entirely different. It's something that comes from within. Finding this happiness from within might seem cliché, but it's all a matter of gratefulness and mindfulness.

When we look within, it requires mindfulness. This can be achieved a lot of different ways, including (but not limited to) praying, meditating, reflecting, writing, and singing. We can see into ourselves and look into the present moment. When we do this, we can see that everything about the present moment is granted to us by kindness.

What did you have for dinner this evening? Whether you made it yourself, your mother made it for you, or you ordered at a restaurant, it was all prepared for you out of kindness. The job that provides for you is a form of kindness. The pure water you drink is kindness. Spending time with your friends, even poking fun at each other! It's kindness. On an even deeper level, your beating heart is kindness. Your mother or father could have ended the pregnancy and you would never have gotten the chance to experience this world. When you boil it down all the way, you get kindness.

If that kindness deeply touches your soul, then it's easy to see how it can be humbling, enlightening, even overwhelming, and you can see how it brings happiness. Despite how awful this world can seem, a lot of times we completely overlook the kindness given to us. This is why Jealousy, while a completely natural thing to feel, is not a healthy thing to dwell upon. In looking for what is truly just satisfaction elsewhere, we miss the chance to see true happiness when it's sitting right on our nose.

I promised myself I wasn't going to put up another super-preachy post anytime soon, but I had been chewing on this for a while and had to get it out of me somehow.

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson is the author that wrote the words of this post's title, and I believe that they ring quite true, even after over 100 years.

Like any other emotion, anger is a response. Our soul reacts to stimuli from outside sources, and anger is just as natural as fear, compassion, greed, and love. Anger is a way to express ourselves! It's not a bad thing. However, how we deal with it can be either constructive or catastrophic.

Anger can be good when we channel it to find results, solutions, or new abilities, but it takes real self control and a strong willpower to know exactly how to forge it into something constructive. I've heard a lot of people say "What would Jesus do? Would Jesus be angry?" Chances are, yeah, Jesus would be really freaking angry. The Bible has numerous accounts (in Matthew 21, Mark 3, Mark 11, and John 2) of Jesus becoming angry with certain people for cheating, and for refusing to answer his questions. What makes his anger justified is the fact that it's not directed at the weakness of another, and it's targeting injustice.

That being said, anger can be (and most often is) very very dangerous when, instead of mastering it, we allow it to master us. When we lose control of ourselves and turn to infighting, violence, and hatred, and when we refuse to deal with it and throw it away, it begins to burn us. When we try to deal with it by becoming reckless, destructive, and unwise, it does damage not only to us but also to the ones that love us.

I asked a handful of friends, "What really makes you angry?" One person answered

"For me Anger results from hindrance and ignorance. It enrages me when people do not put in the same amount of effort as I do, whether it is a relationship or a work project."

Another said

"I become angry when people don't follow through on their promises and when they go out of their way to cause harm to other people."

Neither of these feelings are bad, but dealing with them wisely is crucial. The Buddha said,

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

 So, what's an effective way of handling anger? www.PersonalTao.com gives a simple, yet surprisingly effective list:

1. Take a breath, and just feel it.
2. Look at it, don’t try to answer it, just look at it.
3. Accept it, and then release it as a long exhale.
4. Imagine it going into the earth as compost.
5. With your arms sweep it away: Literally use your arm like a sword to cut through the feelings of anger to say I see the anger: and it is as it was.

The first step is actually all that meditation, in its core, truly is: awareness of breathing. Being conscious of breathing is a way to slow the heart rate, to relax muscles, and to promote mental stability and calm. The second step stems from the fact that rushing to solve a problem too soon might make it worse. As Lao Tzu says in the Dao De Jing,

"Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear."

The third is the core of dealing with anger healthily: acceptance. Seeing as anger is neither positive nor negative, simply accepting it for what it is helps us to see past the anger into the real mind of the situation. The fourth step, at first glance, might seem a bit strange. However, looking mindfully into it, we see that everything comes from the earth and  returns to it in the same way. Our anger comes from our soul, from our core, and accepted, it returns, having served its purpose. The final step seals the acceptance. "It is as it was", before the anger boiled up.

"Do not be deceived by your senses, your feelings of fear and uncertainty, for even as the tempest may howl, just beyond lies a serenity that you would otherwise not have experienced."

Anger is not a bad thing, it is simply very powerful. How we use it decides everything, and when we truly look mindfully into the present situation, we are able to use it to benefit ourselves and those important to us.

The Dao of Health

I try to stay healthy most of the time. I practice tai chi and kung fu, and I make sure to stay away from obviously unhealthy food and try to eat as healthily as possible. I drink at least two cups of green tea every day. I don't smoke. Things like that.

I know people who have experience in drugs personally. Not just cannabis, but also harder drugs such as hallucinogenic mushrooms and cocaine, and two people having experience with heroin.

I don't use anything like that, not because it's illegal but also because I just don't like the feeling of having unnatural effects being placed on my mind. The thoughts scares me. I also have seen what happens to people who use them.

A lot of people rely on substances to offer a release, or an escape. They feel that the sensation offered by the drugs is simply "better" than the real world, or it offers a form of "enhanced perception". Such thinking could not be more dangerous. What hallucinogens, for example, are really doing is firing neurons in your brain in a very destructive, dangerous, volatile fashion.

Even with drugs that are not directly addictive, the risk is there... The desire is there. I've never understood the desire for a certain drug past that of a cigarette. It throws the entire body-mind balance out of whack! It throws it outside the Dao, the Way.

The Dao, or the Way, is described as being within the natural flow of things. Using drugs throws your body so far out of the natural order that it's incredibly difficult to become realigned with the Dao.

People who are slave to drugs rarely realize the manacles around their wrists, because their eyes are always on the next time they can alter their perception of the world. The worst part is, the people who are in the most danger of becoming addicts are often the ones who never realize it.

In one of my favorite books of all time, Lamb by Christopher Moore, one of the disciples of Joshua (otherwise known as Jesus), named Bartholomew, is portrayed as a Cynic and teaches Joshua of Cynic values. He describes it as living like a dog. "I own nothing, therefore I am slave to nothing." This resounds deeply within Buddhist values of removing suffering by removing desire. Similarly, removing the dependence on any substance breaks the shackles of a soul and emancipates it-- Grants it true, unabashed freedom.

Some people believe that drugs help them get "closer to God"... What they tragically fail to see-- Or, rather, what fails to be shown to them-- is that God is always close. What they destroy their body and their soul in order to see has always been right in front of them. It's in their friends, in the water they drink, in the food they eat, in the air they breathe. Everything they need is all right there.

If you know someone who is struggling with substance abuse, help them as you would want them to help you. Call 1 800 390 4056 or go to www.addict-help.com .

Living as a Lion

As much as I love to be a participator in life, you know... Be included, involve myself in things, start up conversations, et cetera... As much as I love that, I equally love being an observer. I absolutely live for the sharing of ideas, especially if they are ideas that are completely alien to me. This may or not be because I incorporate a lot of ideas that are predominantly Buddhist and/or Daoist into my own beliefs-- i. e., "Those who know, do not speak. Those who speak, do not know." That sort of thing. However, on the other side of that coin is a side of me that really caused a lot of dissonance within me and didn't fall quite right with me.

That side of me is a fighter by nature. I would rather not engage in conflict, but if I see no other way out, I will not back down and I will fight... fiercely. I have a hell of a time reconciling that with my endeavor to be peaceful in nature, and with my desire to also treat people with respect and love in all cases.

Within Daoism especially is where the dissonance lay. Daoism speaks of a concept known as "无为", "wú​wéi": It translates roughly to "Inaction" or "non-doing". It says that if you take no action, everything flows on in the right, natural course.

This led me to a bit of an internal conflict. For example, if I walked down the street and noticed a good friend of mine being mugged, would I simply sit and watch it happen? Of course not! That can't be right. I wouldn't outright hurt the mugger, but I would do everything I can to defend the lives of both myself and my friend. But would that really fall in line with my core belief of Inaction?

That thought plagued me for months. I meditated upon it constantly until I finally came upon a realization. "Non-doing" or Inaction does not mean sitting and watching life go by. It means participating in it, taking it day by day, and going with the flow: Letting things take their natural course! When the time is right, someone who is really in line with Daoism won't take action: That person will let the action take them.

We shouldn't be hesitant to defend ourselves. We should not be aggressive, though! We should be sturdy and we should stick to what our instincts tell us is right. In the grand scheme of things, though, we do need to realize that it's not incredibly important and the discretion to know action from inaction is key.

I read a quote that stems from a very famous graffiti photograph that has inspired a lot of people, including myself.

"It is better to live one day as a Lion than one thousand days as a Lamb."

My best friend once asked me a peculiar question out of nowhere.

"David, fight or follow?"

 At first, I thought of it as somewhat of an unfair or loaded question. Surely I would need a bit more context! However, she intentionally denied me any such thing. I thought about it for a moment and answered,

"Follow. I think a lot of the things we think matter, in the end, really don't. And that's completely okay. While it's not a bad thing to stick up for what you believe in in any case, I think I personally would rather just avoid the conflict."

 It was the best response I could offer. She responded that she would rather fight, and I was not at all surprised. What I admire most about this girl is the fire in her heart, the ever-extended middle finger she displays to the world.

I used to fight with my family a lot, especially my mother. I've always been the black sheep of the family, and I used to think that my differences were, in a word, irreconcilable. After I was shocked out of it by a few big impacts, I tried to be as peaceful as possible. I tried to preserve harmony at all costs, even if it meant certain people were walking all over me. Now, however, I owe my friend so much for teaching me how to reignite, reforge, and focus my fighting spirit into something different than anger: resolve.

Fight or follow, lion or lamb... Somewhere between these two extremes lies where I try to live. I know that discretion is the better part of valor, and that sometimes it's better to just smile and nod patiently... But I also know that there are simply some things that are not right. When instinct tells me what to do, I try to know to let the right action take me.

The Dao of Aging

"Those who speak, do not know. Those who know, do not speak." These famous words often attributed to Confucius actually appear in the 道德经，the earliest Daoist book of scripture written by 老子or LaoZi (Often written Lao Tzu). I have oftentimes consulted that book for wisdom when I don't know where else to turn.

Many people think I am wise. This could not be further from the truth! I am so foolish. I often say things I don't mean, and I fill my body and mind with garbage constantly. However, I do know right from wrong most of the time and I know what I stand for in this world.

Pictured above is my absolute favorite word in Chinese: dào​, meaning "way", "path", or "truth". It means so very much to me.

Earlier this week I got into an argument with someone I respect. I'm not proud of it. The things I said were very unloving and I wish I could take every one back. During this argument, this person made a few comments about how young I am and how very inexperienced I am. I was slightly offended.

I am young and inexperienced, I understand that very well. I've not even yet lived out a quarter of my life! I know I am very naive. However, as I said earlier, I do know right from wrong. The person I was arguing with believes that wisdom comes with age and experience, not with what we read in books. I could not agree more. However, everyone ages differently and experiences different things daily. This person is intelligent, having studied philosophy and discourse. He is a fair deal older than I am and thus has experienced different things.

However, age is not everything. It says in Buddhism, Daoism, and Christianity that to find true wisdom, one must become like a little child and see things with wonder; see things as though you are seeing them for the first time. This person believes I am headstrong and arrogant, thinking I have all the answers. He's half right. I am arrogant, and work to fix this every day of my life. I know, however, that the more I see, the less I know. I am constantly finding answers, but I always am given countless more questions for each answer I find.

I may not be as old as this person, but I can tell my right from wrong and I have learned much in my studies and experiences with other cultures, peoples, languages, and ideas.

The Dao of a person can be constantly changing, and is always transforming with everything we experience. This is not to say, however, that it gets better the more we age-- In fact, many times, people are so out of tune with the Dao that they start to look down on those who are younger.

I'm not trying to defend myself from this person's accusations, but instead want you, the reader, to keep an open mind to those who are younger than you. They may not have been around the sun as many times as you, but it's not a bad idea to listen to them with an open mind. We can live in Harmony this way.

美

I keep finding people who are unhappy with the way they are. I don't look down on them, though-- It is, sometimes, difficult to perceive yourself as someone who is successful, intelligent, confident, or attractive. Everyone feels that way, and it sucks. A lot. It sucks chasing carrots, trying to live up to society's expectations of success. It sucks pouring over books for the sole purpose of not looking stupid. It sucks mustering up the courage to talk to that cute girl or guy in your English class. It sucks looking in the mirror and telling yourself "I am not pretty enough" or "My muscles aren't big enough".

I personally believe (as corny as it sounds) that every person has their own beauty. In the 道德经 (Dào​dé​jīng​), the main Daoist scripture, LaoZi (also called Lao Tzu, written 老子) says that we only know what beauty is because we know what ugliness is. His point is that the entire concept of  beauty only exists because we compare one thing to another, and we rank one thing 'more beautiful' than another. This was strongly rooted in one of the main concepts of Daoism: duality. Male and female, white and black, hot and cold, strength and weakness, evil and good. However, another main concept of duality is that existence does not actually come of duality, but rather that two opposites come together to form reality. We only know what beauty or ugliness is because we only see the two opposites, and instead of seeing these things together (and thus removing the concept of both) we compare them, we rank them.

Life should not work that way. Life should NOT revolve around putting yourself next to another person and evaluating. That does nothing but divide.

I've talked to countless girls who have put their health in grave danger because they thought they weren't skinny enough. They freak out about 2 random pounds here or there and think that their peers will talk smack about them. I see many very, very intelligent girls compare themselves to others and cut out entire meals or even DAYS of eating just to drop that last few. It breaks me.

So... you're here, reading this silly blog post that only about 5 or so other people will actually read. (Thank you very much for your support.) Think for a second. What were you insecure about today? Be honest with yourself. I'll go right ahead and tell you one of mine. This morning, I looked in the mirror and thought "I wish I could look good with straight or short hair. I wish my nose wasn't so big. I wish I had a bit clearer skin. I wish my muscles were bigger."
Think about an instance today that you felt like you fell short when compared to another.

Now realize that you don't have to think that way. You don't need to compare, and you don't need to tell yourself you aren't good enough. There is someone in this world (besides your mother) who thinks you are one of the greatest things to ever grace their lives. I can promise you that.

It's not easy to rid yourself of those thoughts. At times, yes, you will fail and this world will get to you and hurt you. However, you don't need to put your physical well being in danger just to prove to someone else that you are beautiful enough. Stop comparing yourself to others. Remove duality and embrace reality.

Society throws hundreds of messages at you, every day, that show you tons of beautiful people and tell you they can show you how to be beautiful. I'm throwing you just one message to tell you that you already are.