Valentine's Day is the one holiday that more people dislike than enjoy. I, for one, like everything about it. It's great to see lovers expressing their feelings for each other. Even if the PDA is a bit much, I really like seeing expressions of love in any form!
One thing that I've noticed in my study of multiple different languages is that the word for "Love" is difficult to translate. While I understand the meaning that those words try and convey, I never understood why it differs so much.
Growing up in a church school environment, you learn a fair amount of things about ancient Greek and ancient Hebrew (if you're paying enough attention), as those are the two languages that the Bible is written in. What I loved most learning about are the four Greek words for Love. English has one word, two or three if you bend the rules a bit... Greek has four.
The first is φιλία, or Philia. Philia in modern Greek means friendship, but in ancient Greek carries the connotation of a brotherly love. We can see that meaning in "Philadelphia", the City of Brotherly Love, and in the words "Philosophy", a love for wisdom, and "Bibliophile", someone who loves books, et cetera. It also could mean loyalty to friends or to a specific cause.
The second is στοργή, or Storge. Storge means simply affection, a natural, innate affection such as that which a parent loves their child. It's often described as being affection through familiarity. Strangely enough, it's the word used least in any Greek work.
The third is ἔρως, or Eros. Eros is a very intimate love-- It's where we get the English word "erotic". It's a very passionate love, filled with desire and longing. However, it's not always sexual in nature. Plato once said Eros-type love for a person is also a love for the beauty of that person, and ultimately an admiration of beauty in and of itself.
The fourth is my absolute favorite word for love from any language: ἀγάπη, or Agape. Agape is the strongest love, and often translated as "pure love". What differentiates it from the other words is twofold: It is unconditional, and it is always giving, without expecting anything in return. It also carries an undertone of being completely content with the status quo-- When someone feels Agape, they won't want to change a thing.
The only thing I dislike about Valentine's day is that it focuses romance's importance into a single day. This is a problem for two reasons: Obviously, the first is that romance should be Valentine's Day-strength every day of the year, and the second is that it only focuses on one kind of love!
Real, true love is unconditional. It won't stop or sputter-- It's like a river, always flowing and rolling over or around any obstacles, no matter how much work it takes. It's determined! It's strong!
But it's also gentle. Like water, it can be as fierce and powerful as a crashing sea, but also peaceful and serene as a lake in the early morning. It is always content to take the lowest places. It is humble! When the lowest path is taken by water, eventually you will find the ocean.
Look at how much Love has grown! When it is determind, strong, gentle, peaceful, and humble, it grows into something immense and strong as the ocean itself!
We should always strive to live out all kinds of love. When we do this, and we strive for what love should be, we become very strong by sharing love with our friends, our family, and (if we have one) our lovers. We should have Philia, Storge, Eros, and Agape all in balance in our life at all times. We can live in harmony this way.
Happy Valentine's Day. Let's all try to act out Love in all its forms, every day.
I agree that Valentine's Day only focuses on one kind of love (i.e. romantic love) and that's one of my biggest problems with it. I remember watching the movie "Love, Actually" and the only plotline I enjoyed in it was the one with Bill Nighy -- one, because the man is fucking hilarious, and two, because that plotline was about the affection between his character and his manager. It was about how Valentine's Day can be about love between very close friends. (The rest of it was about how two people who don't even speak the same language can fall in ~true love~ which is, frankly, the stupidest thing I've ever heard.) I do feel a very strong affection -- even love, if you will -- for my closest friends, and I wish I were not confined by the English language and its narrow definition of "love" so that I could express this.
ReplyDeleteMy other beef with Valentine's Day is its extreme heteronormativity. Charlotte Russe had t-shirts on sale that say, "I <3 my BF" and I'd challenge you to find a "To my lesbian lover" card at the Hallmark store. It's also very commercialized, linking "love" to consumerism. "It's Valentine's Day: BUY SOME SHIT." It's like a holiday that card, flower, and chocolate companies made into a big deal so they could sell some shit between Christmas and Easter.
Nyssa, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I spent my Valentine's day with some of my best male friends, and I was just fine with it. I'd like to think that we share a certain degree of Philia.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, its heteronormativity runs rampant! Guys are expected to buy chocolate, flowers, or jewelry for girls. That's just how it is. I dislike that. Thank you!