A Sort of Homecoming

It's 23:23 of December 5th, a Monday night. I'm tweaking out hardcore from drinking my very first Monster energy drink, and it is without doubt the most disgusting thing that has ever putrefied my tongue ever ever. I'm drinking this terrible sludge because I need to pull an all-nighter in order to finish my work on time, which is fine, it's just that I've never done that before.

I realize I haven't written anything in over 3 weeks, which is my longest unannounced hiatus ever. This is bad for a number of reasons.

1. I am going to be a writer for a career. That means I need to write as much as possible.
2. I use writing to unwind and decompress-- I haven't been able to do that for the past 3 weeks.
3. I got my 6,000th view and WASN'T THERE TO SEE IT.
4. You all want to know everything about me! Right? .... Right?

So, I'm treating this post as a sort of return, a reincarnation-- a sort of homecoming. I'm just going to be listing a few things that have been going on with me, and tomorrow (if I get a chance-- if not, later this week) I'll give you the second section to my music suggestion series, Sharing is Caring.

First and foremost, I got a girlfriend. Weird, I know-- I didn't think I had it in me, either. Technically, she started it all and initiated the relationship. She's a short one, with beautiful, long, curly black hair and mad curves with a smile that sneaks up on you and steals your attention away. She asked me out for coffee one night, and after a follow-up date to my favorite Vietnamese restaurant, I knew I needed to stay after her.

Second, my penultimate semester at my community college is slowly (and stressfully) coming to a close.  I had a hold on my student account because some joker who worked in the library missed checking in ONE of my returned DVDs, and so it was counted as late and I was duly penalized. So, I got that figured out. After that, I needed a book for one of my finals, and it only arrived 3 days AFTER THE FINAL WAS DUE. Baaaaahhhhghghgh!!! So, needless to say, I've been kind of Hulking out the past few days.

Third, I'm working a lot. Too much, in fact. I'm beginning to smell like bread all of the time. Delicious, yet distracting. It's getting kind of exhausting, but the people are great, so it's no big deal. I've made two fast friends and I look forward to continuing working with them.

Fourth, I'm starting to return back to my roots in Eastern thought, which is proving to be a welcome comfort as the vice of the end of the year closes around my scrotum. I'm making more time to meditate, drink green tea, and study the Dao as well as learn a bit about Reform Judaism (which is best Judaism in my opinion) and a bit about the freedom (yet social inequalities) of Hinduism, just for funsies.

Fifth and finally, I'm beginning to realize who my true friends really are. I've been going through a handful of hardships, and the ones who have been there to clap their hands on my shoulder have been proving a wonderful source of strength, so to all of those who have seen me at my angriest, my most distraught, my most off-course, my most un-Dao, thank you for sticking with me.

That's all for now-- Time for me to get started on the second half of my all-nighter.

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Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

I'm just gonna stuff this post full of thoughts on romance.

我爱故我在: Roughly translated from Khalil Fong's song “爱爱爱” ("Love, Love, Love"), "I love, therefore I am."

If you know me well enough, you probably have noticed two things about my romantic life: First, that I am a hopeless romantic and a little bit sappy when it comes to romance, and second, that I am a little bit of a heartbreaker. In a lot of ways, I'm still trying to figure out how to act in a relationship. This isn't helped by the fact that every girl is different.

I've been in my fair share of crazy relationships. I have been romantically involved with girls from Asia, Africa, and America... And the only thing I've learned is that each of them were terrifying uncharted territory. Going into each relationship, I realized that I had no idea what to expect in each instance. A lot of my good friends know that I love learning about other cultures, so I rarely have romantic interest in girls from America... I don't really view it as a bad thing, but it gets kind of annoying when my own family members and best friends poke fun to me about it.

"Hey, there was a girl who told me she used to have a crush on you, David."
"Oh, is that true?"
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have worked out with her."
"Why do you say that?"
"She's white."

When I'm not in a relationship, I always have a terrible lonely feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's the whole "everyone is in a relationship but you!" mindset, and I hate it! I don't know why it plagues me so much. It's worst during the winter, but I always feel better when spring and summer roll around. I don't know why I let the seasons affect my mood so much.

It would  be interesting to marry a girl from another culture. If I did that, I'd ask her to wear traditional clothes from her culture... I think they're beautiful! Even though they're probably not suited for a wedding, any formal event deserves something like a Japanese kimono, a Chinese cheongsam, a Korean hanbok, a Vietnamese áo dài... I don't know why, I just view them as very very beautiful.

 In a lover, I want someone who can be honest, intelligent, interesting, someone who I can just... be with. Someone who will listen to me when I need to talk, but will tell me to shut up if I need to. Someone who will watch movies with me and cook food with me and listen to music with me.

Words for Love

I know it's been a while since I posted something last, so I'm going to make this count.

Valentine's Day is the one holiday that more people dislike than enjoy. I, for one, like everything about it. It's great to see lovers expressing their feelings for each other. Even if the PDA is a bit much, I really like seeing expressions of love in any form!

One thing that I've noticed in my study of multiple different languages is that the word for "Love" is difficult to translate. While I understand the meaning that those words try and convey, I never understood why it differs so much. 

Growing up in a church school environment, you learn a fair amount of things about ancient Greek and ancient Hebrew (if you're paying enough attention), as those are the two languages that the Bible is written in. What I loved most learning about are the four Greek words for Love. English has one word, two or three if you bend the rules a bit... Greek has four.

The first is φιλία, or Philia. Philia in modern Greek means friendship, but in ancient Greek carries the connotation of a brotherly love. We can see that meaning in "Philadelphia", the City of Brotherly Love, and in the words "Philosophy", a love for wisdom, and "Bibliophile", someone who loves books, et cetera. It also could mean loyalty to friends or to a specific cause.

The second is στοργή, or Storge. Storge means simply affection, a natural, innate affection such as that which a parent loves their child. It's often described as being affection through familiarity. Strangely enough, it's the word used least in any Greek work.


The third is ἔρως, or Eros. Eros is a very intimate love-- It's where we get the English word "erotic". It's a very passionate love, filled with desire and longing. However, it's not always sexual in nature. Plato once said Eros-type love for a person is also a love for the beauty of that person, and ultimately an admiration of beauty in and of itself.


The fourth is my absolute favorite word for love from any language: ἀγάπη, or Agape. Agape is the strongest love, and often translated as "pure love". What differentiates it from the other words is twofold: It is unconditional, and it is always giving, without expecting anything in return. It also carries an undertone of being completely content with the status quo-- When someone feels Agape, they won't want to change a thing.

The only thing I dislike about Valentine's day is that it focuses romance's importance into a single day. This is a problem for two reasons: Obviously, the first is that romance should be Valentine's Day-strength every day of the year, and the second is that it only focuses on one kind of love!

Real, true love is unconditional. It won't stop or sputter-- It's like a river, always flowing and rolling over or around any obstacles, no matter how much work it takes. It's determined! It's strong!

But it's also gentle. Like water, it can be as fierce and powerful as a crashing sea, but also peaceful and serene as a lake in the early morning. It is always content to take the lowest places. It is humble! When the lowest path is taken by water, eventually you will find the ocean.

 Look at how much Love has grown! When it is determind, strong, gentle, peaceful, and humble, it grows into something immense and strong as the ocean itself!

We should always strive to live out all kinds of love. When we do this, and we strive for what love should be, we become very strong by sharing love with our friends, our family, and (if we have one) our lovers. We should have Philia, Storge, Eros, and Agape all in balance in our life at all times. We can live in harmony this way.

Happy Valentine's Day. Let's all try to act out Love in all its forms, every day.

Of Love and Faith

Earlier this morning, someone asked me if I had ever been in love. I thought for a moment, and nodded. The followup question was if I currently was in love. I responded, "I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to make that judgment yet." She then asked me something that caught me off my guard.

"What does being in love feel like?"

I didn't know how to respond. How can you define something like that?  I was speechless for a few moments, but then remembered something I had written about 2 years ago, back when I was wrestling with a definition for something as bizarre as Love. I showed it to her, hoping to give her a general picture of what I felt about it.

"Define

Love is being kind enough to give while being stern enough to take.

Love is the deepest trust for another person.

Love is putting your whole world in another person's hands and trusting them not to drop it, or even shake it too hard.

Love is red, blue, green, yellow, brown, white, black

Love is one hundred thousand different ways to show your concern
your devotion
your sense of humor
your sorrow
your fury
your sunshine
your moonlight

and best of all...

Love is all of these things
and countless more."

 I told her love was cold. Not freezing, like winter, but... calming. Soothing. Drinking from a coconut on a hot, muggy day. I told her love felt like fire and ice. I told her love is trust, but it's so many leagues deeper than that.

She then asked me how I know the other person will come through for me and do the same for me. I took a second and thought again. For whatever reason, my mind brought up a passage in the Bible, in the 11th chapter of the Book of Hebrews:

 "Now, Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

So, I told her about that. I then took a second to think a bit deeper...

I had always thought that in many cases, the words "Faith" and "Love" are interchangeable. After all, if I love someone, won't I always have faith in them? And if I have faith in an idea, doesn't that show a certain amount of love for a cause? In addition, many instances in the Bible where the word "hope" appears isn't always translated the ideal way. The Hope they speak of is concrete. It isn't up in the air-- it's looking forward to something you know is true and right. That is Faith. That is Love. So, if we reword that passage, look what we have:

"Now, Love is being rooted in what we know is true and certain of what is unable to be seen."

Love and Faith are placing your heart within the soul of another and being absolutely certain they do the same for you. You know the other person feels the same way, because that is what Love is.