Rhymes With Month

I once said that the best hip-hop comes out of my homeland, Minnesota. While that may be true, this is not to say that all hip-hop that comes out of Minnesota will be the best. In fact, this short rap I wrote for a friend disproves that within the first three syllables.

My friend is going to California to watch Jay Leno's show (not really my type of humor, but all the same, I'm jealous of her) and had announced she was writing a rap. Okay, sure, whatever. I had a bit of a laugh and asked her to end a line with "month", knowing full well that there isn't a single English word that rhymes with "month". Afterwards, she asked for my help writing the rap. This is what I came up with.

Minnesota’s the land of ten thousand lakes
But we’re here in California by no mistake.
Better listen up, Leno, and make some noise
Because I’m here to have a party with the West-coast boys

Somewhere between M N and O C
Is a bit of a dilemma with LAPD
I promise I’m a good girl, stay out of trouble
But can I help it if I want to turn the city to rubble?

It’s hard bein’ blonde, I ain’t gonna lie
But I don’t let it get to me, no, I don’t cry
Cuz you know, when this girl just wanna have fun
I don’t stop, I don’t quit, you know I’ll get it done.

I know, Xzibit, I know... It sucked... You don't have to look at me like that...

  Damn it, I'm a poet, not a rapper! An author, not a mixmaster! I may enjoy spoken word, but I find myself limited by musical meter. Let's hope I never rap again-- I wouldn't want to disrespect the art.