Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Dao of Chance

I'm writing this at 1:02 AM, Central Time. About an hour and a half ago I was in a car accident in St. Paul.

I was driving with four other people in a four-door, so it was quite... friendly... for the people in the back. We had been at a karaoke bar singing like fools, eating mediocre food and drinking terrible coffee. The ride back was energetic, but I was uncomfortable for some reason. (Psychic foreshadowing? Probably too much coffee.) As I was driving, I glanced back for just a second, which ended up being just a second too long. The light was red; I saw someone coming from my right. I braked, set off the horn, turned into the direction of the other car, but still made contact. The shrill screech of metal on metal and crash of the plastic turn signal made me cringe.

I shifted into park, turned on the lights and immediately asked if everyone was all right. No one in my car was hurt. I walked over to the other driver (who thankfully was alone) and asked if he was hurt. I was incredibly relieved to find that no one had been injured.

But the damage had been done. From what I understand, the other car's axle or wheel or something had been jacked up, and he was unable to get it into a safer place, so I called a police officer and pulled Tori (My white Sable) over to the curb of the adjacent street. I asked the girl in the passenger's seat to locate my insurance card as I pulled out my license.

Unsure of what to do in the situation, I did what any self-respecting adult would do. I called Mom. She gave me the best advice she could from miles away as I noticed my hands were shaking. It wasn't a serious accident; I couldn't explain to myself why that was happening. I got everything sorted with the officer and gave the keys to one of my friends as I slipped into the passenger's seat and repeated a calming mantra to myself.

After a calmer mindset settled in, I realized something very comforting. While the accident itself had been unfortunate, I realized exactly how fortunate I, my friends, and the other driver were. Had I been looking behind me, I would not have been able to brake. Had the other driver been a split second earlier, I would have likely T-boned him. Had I been a split second earlier, he might have hit the passenger's side door and might have injured one or more of my friends. Thinking even further back, just earlier last week my car's brakes had been completely shot. If I had been driving without proper brakes, it would have been incredibly likely that one or more people would have been injured. I could go on, but my point is that it could have been much, much worse.

A simple thought formed in my head upon this realization: I simply have one more reason to be grateful for my life. Even a minor accident like this is part of the Dao, as it was the natural course. It happened, therefore all I can do is act like a river and flow around the rock in my path. I will handle it, and move past it. I am safe and secure along with my friends and the other driver. That is definitely something to be grateful for. Accidents happen. That's why they're called accidents. It's just another way the Dao expresses itself.

In fact, the Dao De Jing puts it quite simply:
"Welcome disgrace as a pleasant surprise.
Prize calamities as your own body.

Why should we 'welcome disgrace as a pleasant surprise'?
Because a lowly state is a boon:
Getting it is a pleasant surprise,
And so is losing it!
...Why should we 'prize calamities as our own body '?
Because our body is the very source
of calamity.
If we have no body, what calamity can we have? "
It says this to serve as a reminder for us. I was in a car accident so I can be reminded to be grateful that I even have a car to be in an accident with. 

After receiving a hug from one friend, some calming words from another, a laugh from a third and some delicious Chai latte-flavored ice cream from a fourth, as well as forgiveness and advice from my Mom, I'm feeling a lot better about it, although I still view it as a careless and avoidable mistake. I lost my mindfulness, my awareness. That's something I've been training myself daily to avoid, but that only means I can use this as a very valuable experience to learn to stay in the Zen mindset, to stay in mindfulness, in all moments.

When accidents happen, remember to use the experience. To not learn from it would be foolish! I will do my best to use this experience, and every misfortune in the future, to remember how fortunate I really am.

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