A Sort of Homecoming

It's 23:23 of December 5th, a Monday night. I'm tweaking out hardcore from drinking my very first Monster energy drink, and it is without doubt the most disgusting thing that has ever putrefied my tongue ever ever. I'm drinking this terrible sludge because I need to pull an all-nighter in order to finish my work on time, which is fine, it's just that I've never done that before.

I realize I haven't written anything in over 3 weeks, which is my longest unannounced hiatus ever. This is bad for a number of reasons.

1. I am going to be a writer for a career. That means I need to write as much as possible.
2. I use writing to unwind and decompress-- I haven't been able to do that for the past 3 weeks.
3. I got my 6,000th view and WASN'T THERE TO SEE IT.
4. You all want to know everything about me! Right? .... Right?

So, I'm treating this post as a sort of return, a reincarnation-- a sort of homecoming. I'm just going to be listing a few things that have been going on with me, and tomorrow (if I get a chance-- if not, later this week) I'll give you the second section to my music suggestion series, Sharing is Caring.

First and foremost, I got a girlfriend. Weird, I know-- I didn't think I had it in me, either. Technically, she started it all and initiated the relationship. She's a short one, with beautiful, long, curly black hair and mad curves with a smile that sneaks up on you and steals your attention away. She asked me out for coffee one night, and after a follow-up date to my favorite Vietnamese restaurant, I knew I needed to stay after her.

Second, my penultimate semester at my community college is slowly (and stressfully) coming to a close.  I had a hold on my student account because some joker who worked in the library missed checking in ONE of my returned DVDs, and so it was counted as late and I was duly penalized. So, I got that figured out. After that, I needed a book for one of my finals, and it only arrived 3 days AFTER THE FINAL WAS DUE. Baaaaahhhhghghgh!!! So, needless to say, I've been kind of Hulking out the past few days.

Third, I'm working a lot. Too much, in fact. I'm beginning to smell like bread all of the time. Delicious, yet distracting. It's getting kind of exhausting, but the people are great, so it's no big deal. I've made two fast friends and I look forward to continuing working with them.

Fourth, I'm starting to return back to my roots in Eastern thought, which is proving to be a welcome comfort as the vice of the end of the year closes around my scrotum. I'm making more time to meditate, drink green tea, and study the Dao as well as learn a bit about Reform Judaism (which is best Judaism in my opinion) and a bit about the freedom (yet social inequalities) of Hinduism, just for funsies.

Fifth and finally, I'm beginning to realize who my true friends really are. I've been going through a handful of hardships, and the ones who have been there to clap their hands on my shoulder have been proving a wonderful source of strength, so to all of those who have seen me at my angriest, my most distraught, my most off-course, my most un-Dao, thank you for sticking with me.

That's all for now-- Time for me to get started on the second half of my all-nighter.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

We Are United

 “There is no such thing as a 'self-made' man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.”

--George Burton Adams

I want to begin this post with a thought, a notion, a meditation if you will. If you're in a place where you can speak without disturbing others, say it out loud as you read it.

All of us are connected.

Unity is something that is very important to me. If a group of people are able to set aside differences, drama, disagreements, and strife to come together for a common goal, what that group can achieve is astounding.

I used to be a stark Individualist, looking out for only my own skin without care for who I hurt, used, or disregarded along the way. I was using people for money, for their bodies, for food, for information, for anything and everything. What I didn't realize is that I wasn't just harming others-- All of that chaos I spread was hurting myself as well. Once I was shocked out of that behavior, I began a 4-month stretch of introspective philosophical observation during which I asked myself important questions. What connects all humans to each other? What should I value? How do I attain balance? What's the right way of carrying on functioning relationships with others?

I was trying so hard to find some big, deep secret, but it was ridiculously simple once I realized that it had been hiding right under my nose the entire time. 

What connects all humans to each other? Simply being human. 
What should I value? That intrinsic connectedness. 
How do I attain balance? Through solid connections to real people who help me preserve my values.
What's the right way of carrying on functioning relationships with others? To know that everything the individual does has an impact on everyone connected.


Chapter 39 of the Dao De Jing states quite clearly

The Master views the parts with compassion,
because he understands the whole.

 That could also be translated as, "Wisdom means viewing each part with knowledge and kindness, through understanding of the whole."

A few people have asked me, "How did you come to realize this all at once?" The silly (yet totally legitimate) answer is "Why, by playing World of Warcraft, of course!"

No, really. I was playing WoW at the time. As any of my close friends could tell you, my allegiance lies very heavily with the faction known as the Horde.

Insignia of the Horde

The Horde is comprised of the Orcs, the Darkspear Trolls, the Tauren, the Forsaken Undead, the Sin'dorei Blood Elves, and the Bilgewater Goblins. To anyone with a lick of fantasy knowledge, that seems like a bit of a motley crew. Why would Elves side with Orcs? Why would the maniacal Undead be trusted by... well, anyone? That's when I realized it. They are united through the fact that they're all misfits. They need to fight for their place in the world, and they have formed an allegiance (if a tentative one) in order to better assure mutual survival.

It makes me smile when I remember how closely my friends mirror that structure. A lot of people ask me about some of my friends, "Wow, how did you meet them?" or "Why do you associate with them?" or "How do you get along so well?" I always remember that my friends are my friends because we need each other, because we're human and because this world sucks. That's right, this world sucks and it sucks a lot less if you have more people who help you through the huge mounds of suck.

The other night I spoke with a good friend of mine who was having a bit of an identity crisis. She asked me, "What's my purpose?" Ah, the big question that has plagued philosophy for as long as it has existed. I didn't (and don't) claim that this is the absolute number one answer to this question, it is but my own. What's our purpose?

Everyone who has ever done something kind for you. Everyone who has shown generosity, who has studied with you, made music with you, taught you, helped you, protected you, everyone who has fought alongside you. They are why you are here. Because ultimately, even if life doesn't have a purpose, you have the capacity to make your own-- You can get by, with a little help from your friends.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

Eloi! Eloi!

It's... A sad story. Most sad stories, you think it would be night time, or raining.
But no, it was hot and bright. A typical midday in August. A warm late-summer breeze was pushing the first few dead leaves across the pavement. I had gone out for a walk to take my mind off of Chinese studies for a while.

I saw the woman sitting, slumped on the ground. Her shoulders were trembling, and at first I thought she was laughing, but I wish that were the case.

She was wearing ripped jeans, with suntouched red hair falling over her brown-skinned shoulders and piercings in her nose and lip. Her white tank top was stained with dirt and what could have been makeup.

And then I heard her crying... No, weeping. Such bitter weeping. She was sobbing as though every good thing had been taken from her, and every loving person had either died or deserted her. I barely heard her words through her heaving and retching, and through her tears I heard her wailing,

"ELOI!!! Eloi, lama sabachthani?!"

Her eyes were shut so tightly that I thought I saw blood stream from them, but her makeup was running down her face. She was pounding at the concrete with her fists until they were bloody, with her face towards the sky, asking again,

"Lama sabachthani?! ELOI!!!"

In her words I heard years of pain, I heard the crying of children and the buzz of locusts. She was screaming so loudly that a small trickle of dark blood slipped down her upper lip, staining her teeth.

No one around seemed to hear her-- Only me. I screamed, "This woman needs help! Somebody HELP!" But I couldn't move my feet, I couldn't look away. The cars kept driving, the shoppers kept rolling their red little carts to their cars and unpacking their groceries. No one noticed-- Or no one cared.

She continued to scream at the clouds until a young man walked up to her slowly. He was wearing jeans frayed and ripped at the knees, with a black beater shirt shiny with blood pouring from his nose. His palms were dripping blood, chapped and raw from rubbing against the streets and as he knelt down beside her he left deep red hand prints on his pants.

He whispered some inaudible phrases to her before he walked away, leaving a single round, black stone in front of her.

She took the stone and rubbed it in her blood-covered palms, whispering to herself before she erupted into another fugue of agony. Again the old words spouted from her lips, and I could only watch as my own tears began pouring. After too long I couldn't take it any more and I stumbled home, breathing too heavily the whole way.

I never knew what blade had pierced that woman, but I will never be able to forget the agony in her wailing. Hell itself could have pitied her.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

The Dao of Being Human, Part 2

I know it's been a long time since I've posted last-- I've been dealing with some personal issues lately.

Being human. It's our greatest fault, sometimes, but more often it can be our brightest shining trait. But what does it mean to be human? Earlier this evening I spoke with one of my best friends about the concept of humanity.  I said to her,

I choose to be friends with people who are able to relate to others, people who can really reach out and tap into the inherent connectedness of all humankind. I don't think I get along very well with people who don't care about others. Ultimately, being human to me means being able to give and to feel compassion.

But, also, to err is human. Humans are capable of such unimaginable cruelty. Rape, murder, theft, massacre, war, pollution, rioting, discord, slavery and racism fill our history books, our minds, our governments and even our entertainment. I would think that if an alien were to come visit our planet, it would be so confused as to why a race could turn on itself so easily.

However, Humans can also unite in amazing ways. Humans can give away thousands of meaningless dollars for a real meaningful cause. Humans can act as altruistic heroes and really make a huge difference on another individual, which can move another human to do the same. We can save lives-- other human lives! We can give life! We can even, in acts of passion, create life! We help life of other animals, of plants, of the entire Earth.

Humans can ask questions! Humans are amazingly curious creatures. We have sciences of chemistry, biology, anatomy, medicine, engineering, mathematics, linguistics, and all other sorts. We have philosophy of the self, of the universe, of the Divine, of the lack thereof. Humans are remarkably inquisitive. We ask the ultimate, eternal question: "Why?"

We have built-- Oh, have we built!-- amazing structures, both material and immaterial. We have created. Humanity has created. To create is to show that little bit of God that is within us! We have art of the ears, of the eyes, even of our own skin!  We have culture, of thousands of languages, ethnicities, and flags. We have clothes and music and food and homes and family.

We are capable, we are curious, we are creative, we have real potential. The best part about us is that we can use those for good or for evil. We have the choice.

What is it to be human?
To be human is to be capable of unleashing the cruelest horrors imaginable, for the smallest of reasons.
To be human is to be selfish, cruel and vile, all for the sake of logic.
To be human is to be capable of the greatest and most noble acts, logic and reason be damned.
To be human is to embody justice, valor, heroism, and honor, and to express such values every moment of every day.
To be human is to be willing to sacrifice yourself for the good of your fellow man.
To be human is have the ability to create worlds of wonder and horror with nothing but your mind and your will, and to tear them down at the slightest provocation.
To be human is to be responsible for all there is and all there ever will be, every act of art, science, religion, murder, and suffering.
To be human is to hold the universe in your hand, and be as small as an ant in the face of its vastness.
To be human is to be God.
--Anonymous

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter. If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring, too!

Peace and Love, thank you for reading. Remember to stay Human.

The Dao of Being Human, Part 1

Short post today, because I'm in the process of preparing for a family reunion. When I get back, I plan on expanding on the topic of being human. Until then, meditate on this piece.

Human

Aight, people, listen. I think it's high time
We stop missin' out on what's yours and what's mine.
We are Human.

The pieces were set for White to move first,
But I was missing a bishop to keep me on the straight and narrow.
But hey, it's okay, it might have been just what I needed.
Besides, I'm a better Go player anyway.

I always wished I could take life the way I took piano lessons: Half-step by half-step, black and white.
But then I learned chords, and thirds, and arpeggios and legato and it all became too much for me.

I know now that there's no reason that black and white should be a good thing.
Why don't we use all the colors?
"All the colors of the world, red and yellow black and white" but between me and you,
I'm best friends with maple leaf green and dark ink blue.

So I learned how to be Human in this inhumane world. I learned how to be unemployed, how to sleep with the wrong girl, how to go swimming in all of my clothes, and how to buy myself a Pay Day candy bar because I feel like I've earned it.

Too many people are giving me flak and asking me to care just a bit less,
to dress up just a bit more,
to watch that movie I hate,
to be more like my sisters.

But, sorry, I can't live in a world without calling in sick (when I'm really just tired), without eating steaks I can't afford, without late night Karaoke, because man, that is Human.

Because yeah, my hair's just a little bit nappy,
And yeah, my movies are a little bit sappy,
But hell, I'll do what makes me happy.
I play Go and write poetry
and I get upset and I curse maybe a little too much
And if I've had a really tough day, I eat Captain Crunch at 2 AM because it reminds me that I am Human,
And I have my own bit of God that sparks within my heart.

I'm Human, and no one can take that away from me.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter. If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring, too!

Peace and Love, thank you for reading!