A Sort of Homecoming

It's 23:23 of December 5th, a Monday night. I'm tweaking out hardcore from drinking my very first Monster energy drink, and it is without doubt the most disgusting thing that has ever putrefied my tongue ever ever. I'm drinking this terrible sludge because I need to pull an all-nighter in order to finish my work on time, which is fine, it's just that I've never done that before.

I realize I haven't written anything in over 3 weeks, which is my longest unannounced hiatus ever. This is bad for a number of reasons.

1. I am going to be a writer for a career. That means I need to write as much as possible.
2. I use writing to unwind and decompress-- I haven't been able to do that for the past 3 weeks.
3. I got my 6,000th view and WASN'T THERE TO SEE IT.
4. You all want to know everything about me! Right? .... Right?

So, I'm treating this post as a sort of return, a reincarnation-- a sort of homecoming. I'm just going to be listing a few things that have been going on with me, and tomorrow (if I get a chance-- if not, later this week) I'll give you the second section to my music suggestion series, Sharing is Caring.

First and foremost, I got a girlfriend. Weird, I know-- I didn't think I had it in me, either. Technically, she started it all and initiated the relationship. She's a short one, with beautiful, long, curly black hair and mad curves with a smile that sneaks up on you and steals your attention away. She asked me out for coffee one night, and after a follow-up date to my favorite Vietnamese restaurant, I knew I needed to stay after her.

Second, my penultimate semester at my community college is slowly (and stressfully) coming to a close.  I had a hold on my student account because some joker who worked in the library missed checking in ONE of my returned DVDs, and so it was counted as late and I was duly penalized. So, I got that figured out. After that, I needed a book for one of my finals, and it only arrived 3 days AFTER THE FINAL WAS DUE. Baaaaahhhhghghgh!!! So, needless to say, I've been kind of Hulking out the past few days.

Third, I'm working a lot. Too much, in fact. I'm beginning to smell like bread all of the time. Delicious, yet distracting. It's getting kind of exhausting, but the people are great, so it's no big deal. I've made two fast friends and I look forward to continuing working with them.

Fourth, I'm starting to return back to my roots in Eastern thought, which is proving to be a welcome comfort as the vice of the end of the year closes around my scrotum. I'm making more time to meditate, drink green tea, and study the Dao as well as learn a bit about Reform Judaism (which is best Judaism in my opinion) and a bit about the freedom (yet social inequalities) of Hinduism, just for funsies.

Fifth and finally, I'm beginning to realize who my true friends really are. I've been going through a handful of hardships, and the ones who have been there to clap their hands on my shoulder have been proving a wonderful source of strength, so to all of those who have seen me at my angriest, my most distraught, my most off-course, my most un-Dao, thank you for sticking with me.

That's all for now-- Time for me to get started on the second half of my all-nighter.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

I am Sitting, I am Breathing

 On my Formspring account (link at the bottom of the post), I've received a surprising number of questions asking if I could write a little bit more about my experiences with meditation. I didn't answer those questions because I wasn't really sure if I was fit to tackle the subject, but I've gained a new confidence lately that I want to try out.

Meditation is a practice that's ancient as spirituality itself, and while there are different styles of meditation that exist for different purposes, the basics of it are as simple as sitting.

I'm not joking! In the book Lamb by Christopher Moore, Jesus (called Joshua in the book) travels across Asia learning about different forms of spirituality. He ends up in Tibet and meets a Bodhisattva  named Casper (That's right-- one of the Three Wise Men in Christian lore) who teaches him about meditation. Joshua and his companion stumble upon a Buddhist monastery, and Joshua asks them what they are doing. They simply answer, "We are sitting."

Meditation, at its core, is a state of high mindfulness. That's it. So, if you're by yourself and have enough room and a quiet area, try it out.

1. Be sure the area around is isn't too bright, isn't too loud. Turn off your music, your TV, anything that could be a distraction, be it auditory or visual.
2. Sit cross-legged, or if you can, in half lotus, on a flat surface with your back straight (this may require a cushion for your lower back-- don't be afraid to use one!)
3. Let your eyes slide into a neutral state of being half-open. Your head should be pointed slightly downward in a very relaxed position.
4. Breathe normally. Don't try to regulate it-- Just be aware of it. As you breathe in, think to yourself "Now I am breathing in. This is what breathing in feels like." As you exhale, think to yourself "And this is what exhaling feels like."
5. Be aware of every sensation of your body. The rising and falling of your shoulders and belly, the feeling of the floor pressing up against your legs, your breath passing over your upper lip, your heartbeat in your neck, fingertips, and chest. Remember that each breath gives you life and each moment your heart beats.
6. Don't try to focus too much. Let your thoughts come and go, wave at them as they pass by. 

It's not magical. It's not going to make you levitate or let you taste music or smell colors. It won't let you see into the future or communicate with ghosts. What it will do is give you a higher peace of mind, a sense of oneness and a healthy, relaxed attitude. Meditation is a form of prayer-- They both let positive energy in and help heal negative energy. I'll say it again for emphasis: Meditation heals.

So, if someone asks you what you're doing, answer "I am sitting. I am breathing." That is the first step of that crazy thing called "mindfulness" I always talk about.

If you like my writing, you can join the site to the right of the page, like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Google+ . If you have questions or just want to chat, I'm on Formspring too!

Thanks for reading. Stay human, my friends.

This Can Only Be A Good Thing

So, my laptop's hard drive crashed. In fact, the only reason I'm able to type this post is because I am being lent a laptop by a family member. So, what this means is, while I will try and continue updating at least twice a week, I will probably do it at strange times.

Despite the fact that all of my three-plus years of schoolwork, music collections, and writing are all lost, this can only be a good thing. I have a chance to catch up on reading, write even more, exercise more, and other things.

My writing isn't completely lost, either between this blog and my posts on the Random Receipts Facebook group page. Of twenty-eight spoken word poems, I will probably be able to restore about 20 of them. The other 8 were probably not good enough to share. Hahah! So, tomorrow, the quest to rebuild my collection begins! And with my music, I will most likely be able to simply plug my Zune's USB cord into another laptop and save it from my Zune. Problems (mostly) solved! So, I'm just looking on the bright side of things. As Thich Nhat Hanh once wrote,

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."



So I'm keeping a smile on. I try to think of it this way: Even if I have a neutral expression on my face, I don't get the positive energies that a simple smile can grant. If I have that smile, I'll begin to feel better regardless! That's something that some groups of Buddhists call "Smile Meditation". Meditation in the traditional sense takes place when you're sitting and breathing, fully aware. Smile meditation takes place no matter what. Living in the present moment, remembering to smile in every situation can be remarkable in the way it helps to improve moods.

Another reason I have to smile is right on the right-hand side of the page-- The view counter is almost at 3000! I want to thank you all for joining me in my angst, in my celebrations, in my pretentious ranting, in my giddy explosions of joy and in my melancholy reflections! I started this blog back in November 2010 and I am humbled to see the way it's grown. Genuinely, thank you all.

If you like what you've read, you can like Speaking with Storms on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.

Thanks for reading!

The Dao of Chance

I'm writing this at 1:02 AM, Central Time. About an hour and a half ago I was in a car accident in St. Paul.

I was driving with four other people in a four-door, so it was quite... friendly... for the people in the back. We had been at a karaoke bar singing like fools, eating mediocre food and drinking terrible coffee. The ride back was energetic, but I was uncomfortable for some reason. (Psychic foreshadowing? Probably too much coffee.) As I was driving, I glanced back for just a second, which ended up being just a second too long. The light was red; I saw someone coming from my right. I braked, set off the horn, turned into the direction of the other car, but still made contact. The shrill screech of metal on metal and crash of the plastic turn signal made me cringe.

I shifted into park, turned on the lights and immediately asked if everyone was all right. No one in my car was hurt. I walked over to the other driver (who thankfully was alone) and asked if he was hurt. I was incredibly relieved to find that no one had been injured.

But the damage had been done. From what I understand, the other car's axle or wheel or something had been jacked up, and he was unable to get it into a safer place, so I called a police officer and pulled Tori (My white Sable) over to the curb of the adjacent street. I asked the girl in the passenger's seat to locate my insurance card as I pulled out my license.

Unsure of what to do in the situation, I did what any self-respecting adult would do. I called Mom. She gave me the best advice she could from miles away as I noticed my hands were shaking. It wasn't a serious accident; I couldn't explain to myself why that was happening. I got everything sorted with the officer and gave the keys to one of my friends as I slipped into the passenger's seat and repeated a calming mantra to myself.

After a calmer mindset settled in, I realized something very comforting. While the accident itself had been unfortunate, I realized exactly how fortunate I, my friends, and the other driver were. Had I been looking behind me, I would not have been able to brake. Had the other driver been a split second earlier, I would have likely T-boned him. Had I been a split second earlier, he might have hit the passenger's side door and might have injured one or more of my friends. Thinking even further back, just earlier last week my car's brakes had been completely shot. If I had been driving without proper brakes, it would have been incredibly likely that one or more people would have been injured. I could go on, but my point is that it could have been much, much worse.

A simple thought formed in my head upon this realization: I simply have one more reason to be grateful for my life. Even a minor accident like this is part of the Dao, as it was the natural course. It happened, therefore all I can do is act like a river and flow around the rock in my path. I will handle it, and move past it. I am safe and secure along with my friends and the other driver. That is definitely something to be grateful for. Accidents happen. That's why they're called accidents. It's just another way the Dao expresses itself.

In fact, the Dao De Jing puts it quite simply:

"Welcome disgrace as a pleasant surprise.
Prize calamities as your own body.

Why should we 'welcome disgrace as a pleasant surprise'?
Because a lowly state is a boon:
Getting it is a pleasant surprise,
And so is losing it!

...Why should we 'prize calamities as our own body '?
Because our body is the very source of calamity.
If we have no body, what calamity can we have? "

It says this to serve as a reminder for us. I was in a car accident so I can be reminded to be grateful that I even have a car to be in an accident with. 

After receiving a hug from one friend, some calming words from another, a laugh from a third and some delicious Chai latte-flavored ice cream from a fourth, as well as forgiveness and advice from my Mom, I'm feeling a lot better about it, although I still view it as a careless and avoidable mistake. I lost my mindfulness, my awareness. That's something I've been training myself daily to avoid, but that only means I can use this as a very valuable experience to learn to stay in the Zen mindset, to stay in mindfulness, in all moments.

When accidents happen, remember to use the experience. To not learn from it would be foolish! I will do my best to use this experience, and every misfortune in the future, to remember how fortunate I really am.

The Dao of the Everyday

Whenever I tell people that I follow traditional Daoist philosophy, I usually one of three reactions.

1. "...What's Daoism? "
2. "Oh, really? That's... different. How did you learn about that? "
3. "You don't really strike me as that kind of guy. "  

 I've pretty much learned how to discuss my philosophy well enough to get the point across to a member of any of these groups. One question that I've always received (in one form or another) is, "How do you know when someone is living in the Dao?", which is sometimes asked more like "How do Daoists go about everyday business?" It's a difficult question to answer, because the Dao is completely inexplicable in every way.

"The Way that can be expressed is not the real Way. "

That's the FIRST THING that is taught about the Dao. So, it's always easier to explain the effect that the Dao has on the individual.

• Simplicity.  Daoists will always go about their business in the simplest possible way-- The easiest metaphor is the image of water flowing around a rock. When an obstacle is present, it is always easiest to flow around it and try a different way. Daoists conserve their energy and are often content with what they have. It's not that they aren't ambitious; They simply go after the easiest way possible.
• Sensitivity. Daoists are incredibly observant people. They try and avoid aggression whenever possible and do what they can to help those in need. Daoists have a mysterious affinity for nature and oftentimes spend hours in wilderness learning from the seasons, studying life, and absorbing nature's creative anima. Nature is not the same thing as the Dao, but it is an expression of the Dao and is thus completely flawless and a window into the Dao.
• Flexibility. One of my good friend's name is the word for "Bamboo" in her native language. She once told me that her family gave her that name because they wanted her to be flexible, and in that flexibility she would have strength. Whether she knows it or not, that's a perfect illustration of the Dao. The Dao De Jing (道德经）says that newborn life is strong because it's soft and supple, and dead bodies are rigid and brittle when they are dead. The Dao holds that everything in the world is relative, and that nothing is absolute. Choices are always made from circumstances, not from preconceived notions.
• Independence. People who follow the Dao often don't pay attention (or even really care about) what society says. They don't pay attention to fads, trends, common-spread morality, or even most political movements. It isn't because Daoists are immoral-- It's because they act from a very profound, deep level of the spirit. Because of this, many religions and politicians throughout ages have accused Daoism of being dangerous or complacent. Those who follow the Dao value wisdom and affirm experience over government and etiquette.
• Focus. Those who follow the Dao have an intense inner focus. They accept who they are, and view that as the first step towards accepting all things as they are. They know how futile it is to try and be someone they are not. They accept that they were born and that they will die. This offers an opportunity to view the distance between those as a journey to be traveled. Many Daoists meditate on these precepts and gain a very focused view on the world.
• Mindfulness. Though strictly speaking a concept stemming from Buddhism, Daoism also participate in it. Tying in closely with the previous attribute, Daoists learn to see everything within everything. The old animistic teaching comes back: "Everything that is, is alive." If you ask a person what bread is, often times one who follows the Dao will describe it as being made of grain, water, heat, soil, the sun, air, time, et cetera. They will describe it as being made completely of non-bread elements. Seeing as we are made of non-human elements in the same manner, we know we are within the bread just as the bread is within us. This can be a source of great happiness-- all from mindfulness. As Jostein Gaarder wrote: "We, too, are stardust."
• Discipline. Most Daoists believe in the value of longevity, and try and live in a way that will prolong their lives as much as possible. At the very loosest, this means many abstain from drugs and tobacco. At the absolute strictest, many Daoists live on vegetarian diets and forbid any alcohol from entering their bodies, many even taking it so far as to live on little more than rice and water. The Dao shows patience, kindness, and love in every case.
• Joy. When a person glimpses into the Dao, it forever changes them. Sometimes it's described as seeing God or achieving Enlightenment. The experience can never be erased. The Dao grants a sense of connectedness to the source of life, to a force of sustenance. One who sees the Dao does not fear tyranny-- No tyrant can take the Dao from them. She does not fear poverty, because the Dao grants a profound wealth beyond imagination. She does not fear loneliness, because through the Dao, every living thing is surrounding them. She does not fear death, because through the Dao, everything that is is alive.

The Dao has fascinating effects on the self, but understand that this is not to say that only Daoists may experience this. In fact, the people I have met who best act through the Dao have been Christians, Buddhists, Atheists, and Shintoists. acting in wisdom, patience, and love.

The Dao of Jealousy

Last night I was spending time with two of my good friends. We had gone to get some Burger King, and we sat outside because we didn't want to dirty the lobby of the restaurant at 12h30 in the morning. We began to talk about something, anything, many things, nothing. One of my friends whips out his laptop and displays a personality test for some laughs, and we all realize that it suits him to a T. It was a good night.

As we were driving back to my place, the two guys I was spending time with both told me that they were slightly jealous of me. That really confused me. What do I have that would make others jealous? I didn't (and still don't) understand.

I've always said that while satisfaction may be brought by outside influences such as money, fame, games, sex, things like that, happiness is something entirely different. It's something that comes from within. Finding this happiness from within might seem cliché, but it's all a matter of gratefulness and mindfulness.

When we look within, it requires mindfulness. This can be achieved a lot of different ways, including (but not limited to) praying, meditating, reflecting, writing, and singing. We can see into ourselves and look into the present moment. When we do this, we can see that everything about the present moment is granted to us by kindness.

What did you have for dinner this evening? Whether you made it yourself, your mother made it for you, or you ordered at a restaurant, it was all prepared for you out of kindness. The job that provides for you is a form of kindness. The pure water you drink is kindness. Spending time with your friends, even poking fun at each other! It's kindness. On an even deeper level, your beating heart is kindness. Your mother or father could have ended the pregnancy and you would never have gotten the chance to experience this world. When you boil it down all the way, you get kindness.

If that kindness deeply touches your soul, then it's easy to see how it can be humbling, enlightening, even overwhelming, and you can see how it brings happiness. Despite how awful this world can seem, a lot of times we completely overlook the kindness given to us. This is why Jealousy, while a completely natural thing to feel, is not a healthy thing to dwell upon. In looking for what is truly just satisfaction elsewhere, we miss the chance to see true happiness when it's sitting right on our nose.

I promised myself I wasn't going to put up another super-preachy post anytime soon, but I had been chewing on this for a while and had to get it out of me somehow.

Happy Easter!

Easter is the weirdest holiday to me. I was born on the 19th of April-- In my birth year, that was Easter Sunday. Truth be told, it's my firm belief I should have popped out of an egg that day, but certain aspects of human anatomy kept that from happening. 18 years later, Lady Gaga stole that idea from me.

Bitch.

However, I really enjoy Easter. Aside from the terrible Men's Warehouse necktie color-scheme it has, it brings in new life. I have never once experienced snow on Easter, even in the frozen Northland of Minnesota.  And I'm okay with that.

My younger sister likes to go a little bit crazy with the holidays, and I actually like it a lot because it shows she isn't afraid to really embrace something she enjoys. Just a few hours ago, she came up the stairs with a big plastic bag filled with stuffed bunnies saying something like "I am the Easter Bunny Faerie and I am here to... Easter-ize... this... living room." 15 minutes later, the living room was fully Easter-ized with everything from eggs to stuffed rabbits. Easter-ized as hell.

In World of Warcraft, there's an Easter-equivalent in-game holiday called Noblegarden. In it, everyone from lords to peasants are searching for eggs that give gold, candy, even some elegant garments inside. (There is also a rabbit pet that lays eggs, but that is neither here nor there.) Completing all the in-game "Achievements" grant you the title "(Character Name) the Noble". I really like it-- A small (probably unintentional) reminder from the programmers that remembering to revere life is truly noble.

How you choose to show that reverence is up to you.

So, I'm going to wake up with a big smile ready to take in the (hopefully present) sunshine and remember how great life is. Have a fantastic Easter, readers!

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson is the author that wrote the words of this post's title, and I believe that they ring quite true, even after over 100 years.

Like any other emotion, anger is a response. Our soul reacts to stimuli from outside sources, and anger is just as natural as fear, compassion, greed, and love. Anger is a way to express ourselves! It's not a bad thing. However, how we deal with it can be either constructive or catastrophic.

Anger can be good when we channel it to find results, solutions, or new abilities, but it takes real self control and a strong willpower to know exactly how to forge it into something constructive. I've heard a lot of people say "What would Jesus do? Would Jesus be angry?" Chances are, yeah, Jesus would be really freaking angry. The Bible has numerous accounts (in Matthew 21, Mark 3, Mark 11, and John 2) of Jesus becoming angry with certain people for cheating, and for refusing to answer his questions. What makes his anger justified is the fact that it's not directed at the weakness of another, and it's targeting injustice.

That being said, anger can be (and most often is) very very dangerous when, instead of mastering it, we allow it to master us. When we lose control of ourselves and turn to infighting, violence, and hatred, and when we refuse to deal with it and throw it away, it begins to burn us. When we try to deal with it by becoming reckless, destructive, and unwise, it does damage not only to us but also to the ones that love us.

I asked a handful of friends, "What really makes you angry?" One person answered

"For me Anger results from hindrance and ignorance. It enrages me when people do not put in the same amount of effort as I do, whether it is a relationship or a work project."

Another said

"I become angry when people don't follow through on their promises and when they go out of their way to cause harm to other people."

Neither of these feelings are bad, but dealing with them wisely is crucial. The Buddha said,

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

 So, what's an effective way of handling anger? www.PersonalTao.com gives a simple, yet surprisingly effective list:

1. Take a breath, and just feel it.
2. Look at it, don’t try to answer it, just look at it.
3. Accept it, and then release it as a long exhale.
4. Imagine it going into the earth as compost.
5. With your arms sweep it away: Literally use your arm like a sword to cut through the feelings of anger to say I see the anger: and it is as it was.

The first step is actually all that meditation, in its core, truly is: awareness of breathing. Being conscious of breathing is a way to slow the heart rate, to relax muscles, and to promote mental stability and calm. The second step stems from the fact that rushing to solve a problem too soon might make it worse. As Lao Tzu says in the Dao De Jing,

"Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear."

The third is the core of dealing with anger healthily: acceptance. Seeing as anger is neither positive nor negative, simply accepting it for what it is helps us to see past the anger into the real mind of the situation. The fourth step, at first glance, might seem a bit strange. However, looking mindfully into it, we see that everything comes from the earth and  returns to it in the same way. Our anger comes from our soul, from our core, and accepted, it returns, having served its purpose. The final step seals the acceptance. "It is as it was", before the anger boiled up.

"Do not be deceived by your senses, your feelings of fear and uncertainty, for even as the tempest may howl, just beyond lies a serenity that you would otherwise not have experienced."

Anger is not a bad thing, it is simply very powerful. How we use it decides everything, and when we truly look mindfully into the present situation, we are able to use it to benefit ourselves and those important to us.

Reflections on Rice

At least twice a week, I work as an assistant coach for my old high school's speech team. It's a wonderful opportunity to stay involved in what I love and help cultivate the amazing talent that some of those kids have.

Today, my good friend Josh and I (Who is also now an assistant coach) had the privilege of coaching a young girl from South Korea. Her speech category was Poetry, and her pieces were quite... well, I'm not exaggerating when I say they were powerful. The poetry she recites was written by a North Korean man who documented, through his outstanding spoken word, the injustice dealt to them.

Now, before I get to the core of what I want to express, I want to say that seeing this piece gave me a new perspective on exactly how venomous the conflict between North and South Korea is. Growing up in America, we pretty much learned that "North Korea= bad and people can't leave and their leader is crazy and" et cetera, and that "South Korea= the victims". It's quite a bit more complex than that.

The words were heavy. The poet witnessed what was called "relief rice" from the UN brought for hungry people, but given to the military. At first glance, one can already see the horrible leadership, but when one looks mindfully into the text, one begins to realize exactly what is happening.

Rice is the staple of almost every single Asian culture's diet. Over 3,770 million (that's almost 4 billion, yes) people eat rice every day, myself included. It truly is the stuff of life. The poet witnesses the rice being transported past starving, emaciated people and given to the military. Any excess rice they had was thrown during a parade to display the might of their military having had a full meal. This says something strong... Not only do they not even drop the extra rice into the hands of the starving, they waste it by throwing it in celebration of war.

The poet tells the "people of the world" not to call it "relief rice"-- How powerful that request is! He doesn't want relief rice, because that makes it sound like rice alone will solve all of North Korea's problems! He even tells the United Nations that if they have rice to send, it would be better to fire it into the air! This again draws a terrible picture of misusing life-giving food as ammunition. Rice, the grain of life, is being used to support war, spread starvation, and deal out death.

Rice is so small, so light, and yet so powerful. Something so innocent, if misused, can spread suffering-- But it still brings life to billions of people.

I like hearing prayers, songs, poetry, et cetera in other languages. Sometimes translations use very subtle changes to influence the message they want to get across. In the Chinese translation of the Lord's Prayer, for example, the Prayerspeaker asks God to "give me today my daily rice". I love that! It's a fantastic coloring of the difference (and also similarity) of Eastern culture to Western culture. Staples of our diet such as bread and rice can say such simple but powerful things about who we are!

If you've ever seen videos of people farming rice in countries such as Vietnam and China, when it's done traditionally it is quite obvious that it's back-breaking work. As much as I may not look like it, I do understand the value of hard manual labor. It's a fantastic feeling, being able to contribute strongly to something through work! Rice takes a very, very long time to farm and the work is quite tedious.

Rice can be a very powerful symbol of what I believe I should be like. Simple, subtle, but full of power. Hardworking. Fast to give life, and careful to not take it away.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Forgiveness is one of the most underestimated powers humans possess.

I have done a lot of bad things. I often think to myself that if my friends knew all of the bad things I did, they wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. I don't really know, however, exactly how true that could be.

Recently, one of my past mistakes came back to haunt me. To spare you all the boring details, I did as much as I could to fix it and still received no forgiveness from a former friend. I realized that there was nothing that I could do, and I moved on. However, now that it's returned, I'm finding myself again wishing for forgiveness from this former friend.

I recently read this in a Buddhist book I have.

"The Buddha was sitting under a tree talking to his disciples when a man came and spit on his face. He wiped it off, and he asked the man, “What next? What do you want to say next?” The man was a little puzzled because he himself never expected that when you spit on somebody’s face, he will ask, “What next?” He had no such experience in his past. He had insulted people and they had become angry and they had reacted. Or if they were cowards and weaklings, they had smiled, trying to bribe the man. But Buddha was like neither, he was not angry nor in any way offended, nor in any way cowardly. But just matter-of-factly he said, “What next?” There was no reaction on his part.
Buddha’s disciples became angry, they reacted. His closest disciple, Ananda, said, “This is too much, and we cannot tolerate it. He has to be punished for it. Otherwise everybody will start doing things like this.”
Buddha said, “You keep silent. He has not offended me, but you are offending me. He is new, a stranger. He must have heard from people something about me, that this man is an atheist, a dangerous man who is throwing people off their track, a revolutionary, a corrupter. And he may have formed some idea, a notion of me. He has not spit on me, he has spit on his notion. He has spit on his idea of me because he does not know me at all, so how can he spit on me?
“If you think on it deeply,” Buddha said, “he has spit on his own mind. I am not part of it, and I can see that this poor man must have something else to say because this is a way of saying something. Spitting is a way of saying something. There are moments when you feel that language is impotent: in deep love, in intense anger, in hate, in prayer. There are intense moments when language is impotent. Then you have to do something. When you are angry, intensely angry, you hit the person, you spit on him, you are saying something. I can understand him. He must have something more to say, that’s why I’m asking, “What next?”"

 
Some Christian readers may think of Jesus' teaching of turning the other cheek. What they were trying to convey was not being passive-- No, not at all. In receiving the hostile action, be it phlegm or fist, Buddha and Jesus were both incredibly active in their forgiveness. They responded with love in their hearts.

I was requesting advice from one of my best friends earlier today. I told her that earlier this week I had received a threatening call from someone due to the aforementioned past mistake. When she learned I had wished the threatening caller a good evening, she was quite surprised.

"Being nice doesn't mean you have to be nice with even the jerky ones alright?

Knowing when to stand up for yourself is important too."

 I couldn't agree more. However, our views on what "standing up for oneself" meant differed. If I lead by example, and stand for what I believe in, that is standing up for myself in my eyes. I can avoid conflict as much as possible, and when confronted, ask "What next?" If I don't give people a reason to be hostile to me, I can have faith that eventually we can live in peace, even if we don't see each other or even live near each other.

The man who spit in the Buddha's face was wracked with guilt and uncertainty. It is said that once your life is touched by someone who has been Awakened (read: achieved Enlightenment) that you will never sleep the same way again. The next day, he returned to the Tree and he threw himself down at the Buddha's feet.

"The man looked at Buddha and said, “Forgive me for what I did yesterday.”
Buddha said, “Forgive? But I am not the same man to whom you did it. The Ganges goes on flowing, it is never the same Ganges again. Every man is a river. The man you spit upon is no longer here. I look just like him, but I am not the same, much has happened in these twenty-four hours! The river has flowed so much. So I cannot forgive you because I have no grudge against you.”
“And you also are new. I can see you are not the same man who came yesterday because that man was angry and he spit, whereas you are bowing at my feet, touching my feet. How can you be the same man? You are not the same man, so let us forget about it. Those two people, the man who spit and the man on whom he spit, both are no more. Come closer. Let us talk of something else.”"

This is a beautiful way of illustrating forgiveness. Time progresses. New experiences and new realizations bring people to be different every single day. I know that I can forgive myself for what I've done because I am not the same man who committed the mistake. I know that whether or not the others can forgive me, they are different as well. Not better, not worse. Different. The river has flowed so much.

If you are currently holding a grudge, consider that you are not the same person who had been spit on. Your past experiences have all made you something different. Also consider that your offender is not the same person, either. Since those two people who had the conflict no longer exist, there is no grudge and there is nothing to worry about anymore. Next time someone spits in your face, try and see into the situation mindfully and ask, "What next?"

Happy Thanksgiving!

So, everyone knows what today is supposed to be about. I mean, really, they weren't very creative in designing the name of this holiday.

Today is the day to gather with your family in one of the most basic, ancient ways (around food) and remember what it is you're grateful for. Many of you have given this notion some thought, without doubt.

But, ask yourself-- Did you live it out?

The sermon of the Thanksgiving service at my family's church focused around the made-up word "ThanksLiving". As corny as it sounded, I ended up liking the idea. It reminded me of something I read in a book I've mentioned in an earlier post: Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk. Specifically, it reminded me of this section regarding what he calls "mindful eating":

"...We can look at the food deeply, in a way that allows it to become real. Contemplating our food before eating in mindfulness can be a real source of happiness. Every time I hold a bowl of rice, I know how fortunate I am. I know that forty thousand children die every day because of the lack of food and that many people are lonely, without friends or family."

How many of us thought about something along those lines as we ate our Thanksgiving dinner tonight? I won't lie, it was one of the farthest things from my own mind.

Let's take another look at that word "ThanksLiving". Being able to live out what we are thankful for, that is a form of being mindful in all we do. When we give thanks, it makes it sound temporary, almost forced. However, if we live thanks, we can understand everything that went into that bowl of rice-- The Earth, the Sky, and a lot of hard work. To give thanks is a momentary temporary thing, but to live thanks is ongoing and constant.

The Chinese word for Thanksgiving Day is 感恩节 (Gǎn​'ēn​jié)​.  Those first two words, 感恩,  mean "to feel kindness, mercy, and charity". Not "to feel gratefulness". Being ultimately grateful, I think, results in us showing those traits: kindness, mercy, and charity. We know what we have, and we are thankful for it, so we are moved to help others who could be less fortunate.

I really like the way these words are written. If you take a close look at the lowest parts of both of those words, you see a common pattern: the radical 心 (xīn), which means heart.

I know most of you will read this after Thanksgiving day, and that's my intention in posting this so late. I hope you remember even a few words of this post, and that it makes some impact (however small) so you can be thankful every day, not just one day out of the year. I hope we all can remember that giving thanks can be a way of life, and I hope it moves us to help others out of kindness, mercy, and charity.